On December 17th I posted a blog.
If you haven't read it, which I am guessing is most probably the case, then all it was was me moaning about not learning from my mistakes. I made a few promises to myself, which I swore I would keep, and I am now here to tell you that I most probably LIED.
The first on my list of promises. I was going to be a lot more motivated this term. Emphasis on GOING TO BE. While I still maintain that I will try harder and work harder my motivation has yet to see that supposed leap up to the stand. Uni only started on Monday but I find myself dreading every second and having such a little ammount of motivation to actually attend that it might be worth me just becoming a bedroom recluse. I am currently up after yet another all nighter but this time not out of some attempt to do work but out of an attempt to actually attend my morning lectures. I only really started getting tired around 5:30am and by that time my brain made it overwhelmingly clear that I only had 3 hours till I needed to leave the house, let alone get up, get washed, and get dressed. So I took it upon myself to stay awake. I suppose thats some sort of motivation, in a sense, and I have yet to see how the term unfolds, but lets just hope I can do better then before.
Then comes the second promise, the promise not to fall riddiculusly hard and riddiculusly fast for girls. That being said it's probably best not to mention the second promise, since I have seemingly fallen even further if that is at all possible and my head is now in as big a mess as it has ever been for the good part of a year. That being said I hope all works out for the best.
hahaha! you just told (somewhat) the story of my life. I hear you.
ReplyDeletemotivation has always been a problem from me and this winter, much like many of the past, I have unfortunately fallen into the lifestyle of the "bedroom recluse". as for the insomnia, hey, it's almost 5:30 now! *yawn*
just wanted to let you know you're not alone... haha
and on a lighter note, good job staying awake! I don't have close to that amount of self-discipline:-)
oh yeah, and another thing.. although it is a pain to always be the guy who gets "crushes" (usually the one who ends up with their heart ripped out of their chest, on the ground and spewing blood), it's nothing to beat yourself up over. maybe instead of trying to control your feelings, you should look more at how you deal with your feelings once they've been stepped on. that's something I myself am trying to learn, as I too am rather "uninhibited" shall we say when it comes to affairs of the heart. I dunno. food for thought