Today I went to Sheffield. As exciting a start to a story if ever there was one.
It was spontainous and it was fun. What started off as Me and Kim on our way to collect a package from a postoffice became a fun trip to somewhere I had never been.
This got me thinking.
My mom said to me the other day 'You've done more in your life then I have ever done' and this also got me thinking. So far I consider this a compliment. I want to do things with my life. I want to see things, create things, and generally just enjoy what experience I can get out of it. If life is what you make of it then why do we not create something big and worthwhile. This is why my motivation is hopefully getting better.
I am writing more, taking more photos, and generally expressing more creativity. The fact me and Kim were spontanious enough to jump on a train today and just go somewhere, I hope, shows this point off. I know it wasn't far or dangerous but the spontinaity is something I have never really had before and even showing a little bit is a good thing in my eyes.
I've had feedback on my photos which people have seen through my new, up and running, though still in construction, website. A lot of people have been very positive and so it makes me want to continue.
In other motivational news production was started on my housemate Woodys film. This is good news for me because this film is an adaptation of a story I pevious wrote and even mentioned in a blog, entitled simply Film Noir (also available on my site at this temporary URL). Between the two of us, with his directing and my story writing, we have adapted it into 'ImagiNoir'. It is looking to be really good, despite the current time constraints of only have a week or so to complete it. I will certainly post a link when its done.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Trust
To me Trust is a very powerful, and also much needed, thing.
It's hard to pinpoint what starts trust. When do you put all your faith into someone? Do they have to prove themselves through some rigerous task? Or is it simply something that happens?
Many people have trouble with it. Some people trust nobody, some people wont even trust themselves, but I don't seem to have any such problem, I am quite keen to put my trust into all of my friends. I know that most, if not all, of them would never intentionally hurt me and I hope they know the same back.
The past week or so I've had a few issues regarding trust come up and it's hard to say how they've had an effect. If you suddenly suppose that maybe someone your really close with cheated on you, does that mean you've suddenly lost trust with them? I don't think it does. To many an extent the fact I believe their reply shows that the trust is there, even if there was the doubt there to begin with.
Yesterday the tables turned and suddenly I was the one being doubted. Call it Karma, Coincidence, Or whatever you want but it happened. I can't say I didn't predict it, I knew what it would look like from the off but surely if I had of brought it up it would make me look like I had a guilty conscience? I don't know, I over think sometimes. Today I begged to be forgiven and to be trusted and I've never thought of it as something I would ever have to do. I know this is because I assume people might feel like I do and might trust me, but I understand that other people have complete different ways of looking at things, different ways of feeling. My point was across in the end but there was still doubt there and that upset me. I accept it, but it still upsets me that someone could think I would do something like that. My intentions are never normally bad.
So it brings me to wonder, what is a friendship without trust? To me if that trust, that faith, isn't there then the friendship isn't very strong. It's hardly a friendship at all in my eyes. What I like most about my friends, is that I can trust them. I can share secrets, talk over problems, lend my stuff, and rely on them to be there when I need them. That to me is trust. Obviously there is varying levels, I know that theres some of my friends I wouldn't open up fully to, but theres still something there, some trust that I have in them.
My bestest friends know, hopefully, who they are and I hope they know that I do adore them and trust in them as close to 100% as I can.
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."
George MacDonald
It's hard to pinpoint what starts trust. When do you put all your faith into someone? Do they have to prove themselves through some rigerous task? Or is it simply something that happens?
Many people have trouble with it. Some people trust nobody, some people wont even trust themselves, but I don't seem to have any such problem, I am quite keen to put my trust into all of my friends. I know that most, if not all, of them would never intentionally hurt me and I hope they know the same back.
The past week or so I've had a few issues regarding trust come up and it's hard to say how they've had an effect. If you suddenly suppose that maybe someone your really close with cheated on you, does that mean you've suddenly lost trust with them? I don't think it does. To many an extent the fact I believe their reply shows that the trust is there, even if there was the doubt there to begin with.
Yesterday the tables turned and suddenly I was the one being doubted. Call it Karma, Coincidence, Or whatever you want but it happened. I can't say I didn't predict it, I knew what it would look like from the off but surely if I had of brought it up it would make me look like I had a guilty conscience? I don't know, I over think sometimes. Today I begged to be forgiven and to be trusted and I've never thought of it as something I would ever have to do. I know this is because I assume people might feel like I do and might trust me, but I understand that other people have complete different ways of looking at things, different ways of feeling. My point was across in the end but there was still doubt there and that upset me. I accept it, but it still upsets me that someone could think I would do something like that. My intentions are never normally bad.
So it brings me to wonder, what is a friendship without trust? To me if that trust, that faith, isn't there then the friendship isn't very strong. It's hardly a friendship at all in my eyes. What I like most about my friends, is that I can trust them. I can share secrets, talk over problems, lend my stuff, and rely on them to be there when I need them. That to me is trust. Obviously there is varying levels, I know that theres some of my friends I wouldn't open up fully to, but theres still something there, some trust that I have in them.
My bestest friends know, hopefully, who they are and I hope they know that I do adore them and trust in them as close to 100% as I can.
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."
George MacDonald
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Changes: Productivity
Ok, I confess, so what if I cheated?
The blog before this, the one from yesterday, was actually just written by me a few moments prior. I cheated and reset the date. Why? Because the context is better if it was written then as it was before I began this change, whereas now I can write about the actual change. Honestly, it was my plan all along to write that article, I just didn't have time.
You see, last night I had no time to write it, at all, I was too busy being helpful to others to help myself. Selfless of me I know. And no, no thankyou, the awards are not necessary. Last night I was reading Commons essay, pointing out little problems here and there to help improve his mark, and I was also acting in Woodys last minute film that he has to cobble together for Uni. All in all quite fun. I like helping; reading Commons essay help me practice my own essay writing ability, and helping with Woodys film is creative.
Also last night, Woody and Myself tried to set up websites. I have to wait a day or so to be contacted by a member of their staff before they can go up, but I like to think at the time I was being productive. The website should tie into this blog, or rather the blog will tie into the website, and it will act as an online portfolio for my writing and my photography (which I will mention in a later post).
The suspense is killing you right?
Productivity continued even into today as I went to the library and started working hard. I got 700 words into an essay, an essay that doesn't need to be in till Tuesday. Or atleast I didn't think it did, it is actually in on Friday. Which is superb! I am being productive towards a future goal. I am definitely, and I mean this now, going to try to do my work in advance.
Now I sit on my own in my room after completing Prince of Persia and telling myself I am going to be creative, hence me choosing to blog.
Lets hope my productivity can continue!
Shaun
The blog before this, the one from yesterday, was actually just written by me a few moments prior. I cheated and reset the date. Why? Because the context is better if it was written then as it was before I began this change, whereas now I can write about the actual change. Honestly, it was my plan all along to write that article, I just didn't have time.
You see, last night I had no time to write it, at all, I was too busy being helpful to others to help myself. Selfless of me I know. And no, no thankyou, the awards are not necessary. Last night I was reading Commons essay, pointing out little problems here and there to help improve his mark, and I was also acting in Woodys last minute film that he has to cobble together for Uni. All in all quite fun. I like helping; reading Commons essay help me practice my own essay writing ability, and helping with Woodys film is creative.
Also last night, Woody and Myself tried to set up websites. I have to wait a day or so to be contacted by a member of their staff before they can go up, but I like to think at the time I was being productive. The website should tie into this blog, or rather the blog will tie into the website, and it will act as an online portfolio for my writing and my photography (which I will mention in a later post).
The suspense is killing you right?
Now I sit on my own in my room after completing Prince of Persia and telling myself I am going to be creative, hence me choosing to blog.
Lets hope my productivity can continue!
Shaun
Friday, April 24, 2009
A not so noble return...
It has been 3 months since I last wrote an article for this blog and I feel it is about time I stepped back up to the plate.
"Where have I been?" people would ask, if anybody actually read this, "What have you learnt from your time away?" Well imaginary Ladies and Gentlemen my return to you is not a noble one, nor is it one of lessons learnt, it is of reptetion and 0f the "same shit different day" lifestyle. So, let me waste no more time and quickly start answering all of your questions!
Where did leave off?
My last post to this blog, besides a draft one that I wrote a sentance of and gave up, was one about how I don't learn, about how I again left my work till the last minute and how I again fell for a girl and got hurt.
So where does this put me now?
Well, last night I stayed up till about 4:00am finishing an essay I hadn't started untill the last possible minute, today I spent hours in the library finishing another essay and barely got it in on time, and then, to top it all off, a week previous I got my heartbroken by a girl I fell for.
What have you learnt from this experiance?
More than anything I have learnt tthat I am doomed to this vicious cycle of repeating myself again and again. Not only will I probably lose my motivation again in a couple of days, not only will I wollow in negativity about this recent heartbreak till I fall for another girl in the same manor, but I will do it time again. If this is how its always going to be I may as well not blog anymore! You might as well reread everything I have already written a couple of hundred times! But this marks the start of a change, I hope. I will begin to blog again and I will begin to sort my life out!
Watch this space!
Shaun
"Where have I been?" people would ask, if anybody actually read this, "What have you learnt from your time away?" Well imaginary Ladies and Gentlemen my return to you is not a noble one, nor is it one of lessons learnt, it is of reptetion and 0f the "same shit different day" lifestyle. So, let me waste no more time and quickly start answering all of your questions!
Where did leave off?
My last post to this blog, besides a draft one that I wrote a sentance of and gave up, was one about how I don't learn, about how I again left my work till the last minute and how I again fell for a girl and got hurt.
So where does this put me now?
Well, last night I stayed up till about 4:00am finishing an essay I hadn't started untill the last possible minute, today I spent hours in the library finishing another essay and barely got it in on time, and then, to top it all off, a week previous I got my heartbroken by a girl I fell for.
What have you learnt from this experiance?
More than anything I have learnt tthat I am doomed to this vicious cycle of repeating myself again and again. Not only will I probably lose my motivation again in a couple of days, not only will I wollow in negativity about this recent heartbreak till I fall for another girl in the same manor, but I will do it time again. If this is how its always going to be I may as well not blog anymore! You might as well reread everything I have already written a couple of hundred times! But this marks the start of a change, I hope. I will begin to blog again and I will begin to sort my life out!
Watch this space!
Shaun
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