Well. It's that time of year again; the time when there's no more year left. I am guessing the majority of blogs are going to be filled with silliness about New Years Resolutions. Well I am going to do something spontanious and completely original.... Ok so you guessed, this is about my New Years Resolutions; of which there is only one.
MOTIVATION.
You have heard me, or seen me, write time and time again about it. It's the biggest letdown of my life at the moment. The lack of it affects almost all aspects of my being. So heres my check list to being more motivated in the new year.
Do work in advance
- Research
- Background Read
- Plan Essays
- Get essay complete before it's due in
Motivate my life
- See above
- Wake up before 2 on days off
- Go to Gym
- Blog more
- Write more
- Find more time to be creative
I figure, last year was all about having fun. It was about doing as little work as possible and getting away with it. But no more! I have set myself the tasks to work harder, as to benefit my education, but also to be more creative, as to benefit my mind and personal well being. I always say I should write more, but never do. From now on people I shall blog at least once a week.
(We shall see how long this lasts)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Every setback is another lesson learnt
I will try not to let this post focus on Motivation as they usually do... but its really hard not to....
So I am posting again, my last post was early September which shows my motivation with this Blog. See, I am already back on that subject! The subject I want to address today however is that of 'Lessons', and how I don't really take them in for any aspects of my life.
You would think that failing two module's last year would make me reassess how I go about doing my Uni work... But it didn't. I again ended up leaving all my work and my essays to the last minute which means I am now awake after doing an all-nighter. I am still not done I would like to add, but I am taking a well deserved break after just how much work I have done these past hours. I still have to put a few more hours in but hopefully it should all be complete and ready to hand in reasonably soon. I did learn something however and that was to plan essays and do research before actually writing the essay. That stuck and I did some, though granted no where near as much as I could have done...
What have I learnt this time around? Well, for starters I am, he says, going to do a lot of my work in advance, I am going to plan my essay far before I come to write it, and I am going to have the motivation to do work I would normally leave to the last minute. That way I have better access to resources in the library and a better mind for writing an essay.
I have also learnt that I will NOT be doing another all-nighter to finish my work. I did alright, I believe, in doing one last night. I got my essay done, and a lot of other work done, however it was a struggle at some points and what could have been done in three or so hours ended up taking a giant length of time. Probably just under double what it should have done. Actually, probably over double considering I haven't finished.
My procrastination, I have learnt, knows no bounds. Though I will combat this later...
And it's not just in the field of University that I have failed to take in the lessons of the past, oh no, my romantic life has also had its repeat. Make that its repeated repeat. Allow me to explain.
My first relationship consisted of me falling for a girl, I was then probably so overly clingy and overly 'in love' that I scared her off. My second, Vicky, was a good relationship. The third however I repeated the first mistake. Chasing one girl, being overly clingy and wanting more, faster, than she did ended very badly. Heartbroken once again I declared it would never happen again. No longer would I get too head over heels for a girl, or be too clingy... It was easy for a time, as said Girl was no where to be seen; it was not only Summer, so I was at home, but she was no longer online. But then she came back again, right at the start of Uni. And again I fell. And again I feel like I got too over the top and again I got, not necessarily hurt, this time but, I suppose, disheartened.
But then maybe its the girls' fault ay?
If you will lead a guy on afterall...
So, I am vowing to try and learn from my lessons and the effects they have on me! and vowing not to let either one happen again!
"Every setback is another lesson learnt"
- Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.
So I am posting again, my last post was early September which shows my motivation with this Blog. See, I am already back on that subject! The subject I want to address today however is that of 'Lessons', and how I don't really take them in for any aspects of my life.
You would think that failing two module's last year would make me reassess how I go about doing my Uni work... But it didn't. I again ended up leaving all my work and my essays to the last minute which means I am now awake after doing an all-nighter. I am still not done I would like to add, but I am taking a well deserved break after just how much work I have done these past hours. I still have to put a few more hours in but hopefully it should all be complete and ready to hand in reasonably soon. I did learn something however and that was to plan essays and do research before actually writing the essay. That stuck and I did some, though granted no where near as much as I could have done...
What have I learnt this time around? Well, for starters I am, he says, going to do a lot of my work in advance, I am going to plan my essay far before I come to write it, and I am going to have the motivation to do work I would normally leave to the last minute. That way I have better access to resources in the library and a better mind for writing an essay.
I have also learnt that I will NOT be doing another all-nighter to finish my work. I did alright, I believe, in doing one last night. I got my essay done, and a lot of other work done, however it was a struggle at some points and what could have been done in three or so hours ended up taking a giant length of time. Probably just under double what it should have done. Actually, probably over double considering I haven't finished.
My procrastination, I have learnt, knows no bounds. Though I will combat this later...
And it's not just in the field of University that I have failed to take in the lessons of the past, oh no, my romantic life has also had its repeat. Make that its repeated repeat. Allow me to explain.
My first relationship consisted of me falling for a girl, I was then probably so overly clingy and overly 'in love' that I scared her off. My second, Vicky, was a good relationship. The third however I repeated the first mistake. Chasing one girl, being overly clingy and wanting more, faster, than she did ended very badly. Heartbroken once again I declared it would never happen again. No longer would I get too head over heels for a girl, or be too clingy... It was easy for a time, as said Girl was no where to be seen; it was not only Summer, so I was at home, but she was no longer online. But then she came back again, right at the start of Uni. And again I fell. And again I feel like I got too over the top and again I got, not necessarily hurt, this time but, I suppose, disheartened.
But then maybe its the girls' fault ay?
If you will lead a guy on afterall...
So, I am vowing to try and learn from my lessons and the effects they have on me! and vowing not to let either one happen again!
"Every setback is another lesson learnt"
- Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Snippet
So it's been a while. After reading some of Neil Gaiman's (now 7 years old) entry about the process of getting a book through publishing I have been resparked, if only for this evening. I promised myself that as soon as I got back from work I would write a snippet for the blog.
So here it is, this is my snippet.
I have been wondering, recently, if perhaps the project - the big novel I have been creating in my head for some time now - should perhaps be put to one side for a while whilst I pick up something new and creatively challenging. I put together a sort of list a week or so ago, concerning stories that I had fully planned waiting in certain creases of my brain, waiting for that transition onto paper. I think by the end of it I had around 10 either complete or partially started ideas brewing in my head. Worries have always formed within me as to whether or not there is a limit to the ideas you can create. Might I find that one day I simply cannot think of anything further to go on?
The answer is no, it seems.
The other night, racking my brain for another idea, one came to me by the formation of a sentance, which sparked life into a short story. It's these types of events that make you think perhaps your imagination never tires out. I am by no accounts saying the idea was good or would be enjoyable to read but it's an idea, it can grow.
Something the Shaun and Andy Project did was keep creative juices flowing - it has died recently. What happened was Andy set a project, for a childrens story, and my imagination died. I simply couldn't concieve an idea that was plausable for a younger audience, I felt perhaps I had been bested by the category. I did have one idea, and a start for the idea, and a moral for the end, but the middle just wasn't to be seen. This has stumped me for now over a month, granted I devoted little time to it as I have been in full time employment over this length of time. I spoke to Andy yesterday and decided to cancel that particular stage of the project. Hopefully we will be back up to standard and have something for you to read on Sunday.
So here it is, this is my snippet.
I have been wondering, recently, if perhaps the project - the big novel I have been creating in my head for some time now - should perhaps be put to one side for a while whilst I pick up something new and creatively challenging. I put together a sort of list a week or so ago, concerning stories that I had fully planned waiting in certain creases of my brain, waiting for that transition onto paper. I think by the end of it I had around 10 either complete or partially started ideas brewing in my head. Worries have always formed within me as to whether or not there is a limit to the ideas you can create. Might I find that one day I simply cannot think of anything further to go on?
The answer is no, it seems.
The other night, racking my brain for another idea, one came to me by the formation of a sentance, which sparked life into a short story. It's these types of events that make you think perhaps your imagination never tires out. I am by no accounts saying the idea was good or would be enjoyable to read but it's an idea, it can grow.
Something the Shaun and Andy Project did was keep creative juices flowing - it has died recently. What happened was Andy set a project, for a childrens story, and my imagination died. I simply couldn't concieve an idea that was plausable for a younger audience, I felt perhaps I had been bested by the category. I did have one idea, and a start for the idea, and a moral for the end, but the middle just wasn't to be seen. This has stumped me for now over a month, granted I devoted little time to it as I have been in full time employment over this length of time. I spoke to Andy yesterday and decided to cancel that particular stage of the project. Hopefully we will be back up to standard and have something for you to read on Sunday.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Sweet Poetry
Long time no write... As per usual...
But I thought I should in from everyone that I am writing much more these days, not blogs, but with the Shaun and Andy Project! And something else...
Inspired by a man called Scroobius Pip, who calls himself a poet rather then a lyricist/singer, I have taken up poetry again and have been posting it on the internet. You can find my poems here, and Scroobius Pip's work here. I suggest you check out his music with Dan Le Sac its really rather entertaining and he has such a wonderful vocabulary and use of words.
Also! I have finished the first, draft, chapter of my Novel. Which I am hoping to be working a lot more on, I have sent the chapter to friends for testing and gauging of reactions!
Wow, I am buzzing with creativity!
But I thought I should in from everyone that I am writing much more these days, not blogs, but with the Shaun and Andy Project! And something else...
Inspired by a man called Scroobius Pip, who calls himself a poet rather then a lyricist/singer, I have taken up poetry again and have been posting it on the internet. You can find my poems here, and Scroobius Pip's work here. I suggest you check out his music with Dan Le Sac its really rather entertaining and he has such a wonderful vocabulary and use of words.
Also! I have finished the first, draft, chapter of my Novel. Which I am hoping to be working a lot more on, I have sent the chapter to friends for testing and gauging of reactions!
Wow, I am buzzing with creativity!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Small Rooms
So we have a problem.
As some as you may know, if you even knew anything to begin with, We lost the house. We, and by We I mean my Parents, were going to buy a house in Derby then rent it out to me and three mates. Cheaper living costs, nice house, quiet area, closer by, etc. This fell through. Devestating both me and my parents, and leaving me and my uni mates in the lurch about where to go or what to do.
It seems that most, if not all, 4 bedroom student houses in Derby consist of a Master Bedroom, Second Bedroom, and a Small Guest Bedroom/Study. The forth room would come from a converted Dining room. This is the norm. When searching for house in Derby is was almost impossible to even find a 3 bedroom house. Most estate agents agreed on this.
So where does this leave us?
Well, you are all paying for a room in a house, and more to the point your all paying the same ammount, despite room size, and at the end of the day your going to have to pick one unlucky friend to move into that small room. So you have to think how would you do this? Obviously if you just outright pick someone then its going to hurt their feelings, and if you suggest that you deserve the bigger rooms then you seem arragant, no matter if you're bringing an indian elephant thats vital to your studies with you.
As some as you may know, if you even knew anything to begin with, We lost the house. We, and by We I mean my Parents, were going to buy a house in Derby then rent it out to me and three mates. Cheaper living costs, nice house, quiet area, closer by, etc. This fell through. Devestating both me and my parents, and leaving me and my uni mates in the lurch about where to go or what to do.
It seems that most, if not all, 4 bedroom student houses in Derby consist of a Master Bedroom, Second Bedroom, and a Small Guest Bedroom/Study. The forth room would come from a converted Dining room. This is the norm. When searching for house in Derby is was almost impossible to even find a 3 bedroom house. Most estate agents agreed on this.
So where does this leave us?
Well, you are all paying for a room in a house, and more to the point your all paying the same ammount, despite room size, and at the end of the day your going to have to pick one unlucky friend to move into that small room. So you have to think how would you do this? Obviously if you just outright pick someone then its going to hurt their feelings, and if you suggest that you deserve the bigger rooms then you seem arragant, no matter if you're bringing an indian elephant thats vital to your studies with you.
Trust me, this has everything to do with PsychologyNow I was all for giving the room to the person with the least ammount of stuff, and with the least ammount of plans. For example, (Warning: Extreme Cases ahead) if someone was only bringing a laptop with them... Then that wouldn't suggest that they needed a bigger room. Also, if someone was only using the room to sleep in and was planning to spend the rest of their days in the garden, then they wouldn't need a big room either. It is, on this logic, that we have given Woody the biggest room. Why? Well, he has the most stuff, which ticks box one. Plus he lives furthest away. He also says he would be happy to open up the room as a lounge, obviously not while he is in bed or having some "private time". This ticks box 2, the fact he is making good use of the big room.
Now this leaves us with 3 rooms, two of equal size, to give to 3 more students. Obviously nobody wants the small room, and obviously everyone is going to believe that they are going to: A: Bring a lot of stuff, B: Make good use of their room. Therefore the other two lads have picked leaving it to fate and picking straws, and from there we will change around and swap. This will be a mission, but atleast it will be 'fair'.
It's all up to you guys now!Common said the room isn't 'livable', stating that he 'couldn't see himself living in there', and saying he wouldn't be able to get all his stuff in. While I agree with the latter statment, (there is absolutely no way I would get all my stuff in, 360, ps3, wii, desktop +dual screen, accessories and games for each individual system, 42" Tv, Freeview box, DVDs, books/magazines/comics, clothes, etc) I don't agree with the first two statements. The room is perfectly livable; else it wouldn't be allowed to be rented out. I mean if Harry Potter can live under the stairs we could live in that room.
Curse you Potter! You and all your living space!The second statement, not being able to see yourself living in there, well, I totally disagree. Now I don't mean to sound all for the idea of the small room, but it is inevitable that we will all live in it at one point so I figure, why not make the most of bad thing? If I big it up as much as I can to myself it will be better!
I have already imagined, if possible, how I am going to style it when that wonderful little room is mine. I will have to move my dual screen and just hide them somewhere, in a box under the bed somewhere, and then I will have the desktop linked up to the 42" (hopefully this combination will fit on the desk, if not there will be hell to pay as it messes up my plans). Then I can just lie in bed and use my pc. Also, when its night time, I will shut the curtains, turn off the lights, cuddle up in a big double duvet with extra cushions and other comfy things, and relax. Imagine it, with the 42", at that close distance, in the dark, it would be like a cinema!
Possiblities are I might go blind by the end of my term though, but oh well, its a small price to pay to have a mini cinema.
Appart from size the only problems I can see with it are A: Not being able to have friends to stay, B: Bringing girls back and having to go in the small room (possibly using the excuse "The other guys are just overcompensating, this room reflects the fact I have a massive penis", C: Not having room to have people to play multiplayer games and D: Not being able to bring my double bed up to Derby with me. I am not sure which of these is most distressing.
It is inevitable that we will all have the small room at one point sooner or later. So can't do anything but try to make the best of it, can we?
Could be a new fad. 'Your plans for the small room?'
We could make a mini movie at the start of each term, like changing rooms or other such nonsesense, chroniceling the tale of each housemate converting the small room into their own glorious kingdom...
If you are looking to rob us after I have named all the expensive stuff I will have please contact me for the address
Monday, June 30, 2008
Here we go again...
Ha!
My last two posts were crazy, one stating that I was posting soon, and never did, and the other being completely over my head with emotions and thoughts and stuff. Luckily I am a bit more rational today, and as such would like to keep this post quite brief.
I am using a new 'Blogger Buddy' which I have installed on my Vista Gadget section on my desktop, its pretty neat. I advice anyone who wants some 'on the go' blogging to use it. Saves you a whole minute of logging in!
I mainly want to tell people that I am giving the Shaun and Andy Project the go ahead again. I started by writing the Sci-Fi story that I was meant to god knows how long ago. Give it a read and see what you think!
Hopefully I Will write more from now on.
Hopefully I will finish something worthwhile!
My last two posts were crazy, one stating that I was posting soon, and never did, and the other being completely over my head with emotions and thoughts and stuff. Luckily I am a bit more rational today, and as such would like to keep this post quite brief.
I am using a new 'Blogger Buddy' which I have installed on my Vista Gadget section on my desktop, its pretty neat. I advice anyone who wants some 'on the go' blogging to use it. Saves you a whole minute of logging in!
I mainly want to tell people that I am giving the Shaun and Andy Project the go ahead again. I started by writing the Sci-Fi story that I was meant to god knows how long ago. Give it a read and see what you think!
Hopefully I Will write more from now on.
Hopefully I will finish something worthwhile!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Lets self destruct
Human beings are destructive by nature. We like to build but we also have a tendancy to destroy. In some respects it balances, destroying an old building to make way for a new one, but in others its just needless destruction, that of war.
Destruction isn't just a physical thing, its very emotional and psychological as well. People love nothing better then self destruction. What I have found is people will often get themselves into situations which are only going to cause themselves harm, and they know this, but people will carry it on anyway. We will hold our heads high into such terror, just because we are stubborn, stupid, animals who get carried away thinking about Hope. False hope at that.
When it's easier for us to try and get over something, we tend to just sit and dwell. We don't try and offer ourselves relief. Often when it's easier to talk something over, we will bottle it up and keep quite to ourselves. If someone close offers us advice, not only will we not take it but we will probably find some way of justifing not taking it. Why do we lie to ourselves? Why, when the answer seems so obvious, do we decide to hope for something else only to wind up crushing ourselves? We don't just pick the wrong path, we pick the wrong destination, the wrong means of transport.
But then again... I live by no regrets, so where does this leave me?
This mood is temporary. It always is. We hate to say we enjoy being down, depressed, but at the heart of it we love the fact it makes us feel superior, smarter, than everyone else. Ignorance is bliss after all, so when were down we view ourselves as being less ignorant, more realistic, more rational. Emotions get in the way of everything, even when your trying to think rationally their there. And hope is the worst, most distracting one of them all. "Hope is the first step on the road to dissapointment"
Sorry this has been such a down and, eugh, post but I am just clearing my head at the moment. This probably didn't make a lot of sense but I am not re-reading it.
Destruction isn't just a physical thing, its very emotional and psychological as well. People love nothing better then self destruction. What I have found is people will often get themselves into situations which are only going to cause themselves harm, and they know this, but people will carry it on anyway. We will hold our heads high into such terror, just because we are stubborn, stupid, animals who get carried away thinking about Hope. False hope at that.
When it's easier for us to try and get over something, we tend to just sit and dwell. We don't try and offer ourselves relief. Often when it's easier to talk something over, we will bottle it up and keep quite to ourselves. If someone close offers us advice, not only will we not take it but we will probably find some way of justifing not taking it. Why do we lie to ourselves? Why, when the answer seems so obvious, do we decide to hope for something else only to wind up crushing ourselves? We don't just pick the wrong path, we pick the wrong destination, the wrong means of transport.
But then again... I live by no regrets, so where does this leave me?
This mood is temporary. It always is. We hate to say we enjoy being down, depressed, but at the heart of it we love the fact it makes us feel superior, smarter, than everyone else. Ignorance is bliss after all, so when were down we view ourselves as being less ignorant, more realistic, more rational. Emotions get in the way of everything, even when your trying to think rationally their there. And hope is the worst, most distracting one of them all. "Hope is the first step on the road to dissapointment"
Sorry this has been such a down and, eugh, post but I am just clearing my head at the moment. This probably didn't make a lot of sense but I am not re-reading it.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Relationships. To be (Single) or not to be (Single): The Break-up connumdrum
These have been on my mind now for a while, and it may be a contributing factor to why I have made no effort with my blog anymore, I simply can’t think of my opinion on anything other then this subject. I am currently, and this will most probably shine through in this... essay, an advocator of being single. Having come out of a longterm relationship I suppose its only natural. I will thank you now for taking the time to read this entry, it is very long but its something my mind has been in an almost constant thought about and I feel if I write it down and get it out there I will rest easier. Thank you again.
Me and Vicky broke up about 2 Months ago. Yesterday would have been our Two Year Anniversary, so yeah, that’s pretty sad. Obviously it’s not my place to share all the gory details, and obviously I can’t speak on behalf of her, but I can say my piece. Please, before you read this, understand that this is in no way written harshly or written against her, it was a mutual break-up and neither of us, I hope, harbour ill feelings towards one and other. We are still very good friends and speak regularly.
The Rationale.
I try to be rational. I do. If you think of things rationally there were a few contributing factors to the break-up. We had been doing the long distance thing for awhile, but I don’t think it was the soul reason behind the split. It was defiantly a contributing factor but not the only one really. Rationally long distance is not the best type of relationship; it means you can only see each other rarely, for us it was once a month at the most frequent I believe. It also ranks up costs that as Students we don’t really have the money to pay for and you have to fit it into large chunks that, with hectic learning schedules, we don’t have the time to arrange. Please remember I have separated rational and emotion, so if any of this seems very cold and heartless I will try and back it up in the next section. For awhile we had been getting on each others nerves, I know I can be very stubborn and I am willing to admit that openly, so when I didn’t get my own way, or thought I was right, it was likely I would get pretty heated. This isn’t necessarily a damnation on myself, I think we all do this to some extent. I mean who doesn’t believe their own opinion to be right at least most of the time? Now again rationally this presents to you a problem. Either you have to change for the better of the relationship or its going to go downhill very quickly, and lets face it, how often do people change? Arguments do happen, though they happen more frequently as the relationship goes on. You start thinking ‘It was better at the start’ It is my belief that this is because you become more comfortable and as you become more comfortable you are no longer trying to impress and, in a sense, get a bit lazy. Your willing to fight your corner and say ‘Hold on I want to do this my way’ as you don’t think you have so much at stake, you’ve got the relationship on the go and you know it wont end over one little fight. You also start to notice the things that really bug you about someone else, even the smallest most trivial things, and for some reason a relationship makes them seem worse.
Now anyone will tell you this happens in every relationship ever put forward. I am sure you have heard parents argue. It is, however, my belief that at this age we have too much to experience and too much to do with in your lives. Your life is one journey that you can’t retake, not that I would change anything I have done, I live with the philosophy of ‘No regrets’ after all. I firmly uphold the idea that we should enjoy life as much as we possibly could. Now when you have a relationship which is upsetting either party and isn’t 100% happy you are not going to enjoy other aspects, you are going to be thinking about this too much. We shouldn’t have to deal with arguments or problems at our age. Me and Vicky knew, and had spoke about, the idea that we wouldn’t be together forever. We wanted different things out of life. Also, rationally, the amount of relationships that last from Teenage life to marriage are very few, and those that do often end in divorce. I think as teenagers we are to go out and have fun, have flings, even have relationships, but not too long term. When it starts becoming almost marriage-esque then perhaps its just too much at this age. People are living longer these days and while our parents may have married at the age of 25, people are now not getting married till 35 or so forth. We should enjoy meeting new people, exploring new opportunities, and perhaps being tied down in a relationship just doesn’t help with that. My head told me I wanted to see other people, I wanted to experience things, I wanted, in a sense, some freedom to do things my way.
The Emotion.
This is the bastard. Rationale? Fine! You just forget your heart exists and approach life in an almost mathematical sense. Emotion is the tough one. Love is the toughest thing in the world in my opinion. Breaking up with Vicky ranks on one of the hardest things I have had to combat in my life, especially doing it face to face. Though your arguing, and your getting annoyed at one enough, when we saw each other it was always amazing and left me feeling so positive. I always cried when she had to go back home again and I always felt empty. In fact it wasn’t really till Vicky raised it that I admitted to myself that I had the same considerations. They were always there, in the back of your mind saying ‘This isn’t the best it could be’ but your heart always overrules. Your head is thinking ‘the relationship is not as good as it was’ but your heart is still saying ‘But I love this person, so much’. The heart is a hard thing to argue with. I always say, and it may sound pretentious, that you can control how you think, you can control your legs, your arms, most things down to your finger tips, you can even stop yourself breathing and hold your breath, but you can’t control your heart and stop it beating. The same goes for it emotionally. You can’t just think ‘Oh, I am going to stop loving today’ it just doesn’t happen and in the end its only through it wearing away over time that your going to stop it.
Love is such a MAJOR emotion that I don’t think, as teenagers, we are fully equipped to handle the other feelings it brings with it. We are already a cocktail of hormones and emotions without Love on top. In fact I don't think as humanbeings we should have to handle it, Love can be the most beautiful and poetic thing in the world, it can make you feel the best you've ever felt, but it can also bring about the greatest sadness too. But it is so hard not to have there. You could enter a relationship thinking ‘I am not going to fall in love’ or flirt with someone thinking ‘I am not going to fall in love’ but I reckon if you give it long enough you may do, or you will at least have a pretty strong emotion towards them. Its only natural. Its only human.
Me and Vicky still talk, and we are still friends, but this itself brings a problem, the problem of knowing we will both find someone else. We know we will, its inevitable. Now since the break-up I have flirted with other girls and even been lucky enough to kiss other girls, and my head was saying ‘Yeh, this is good, we are getting over the break-up and experiencing new things just like we wanted’. Then when I find out Vicky has done the same thing, as hypocritical as it is, my stomach feels a massive pain and my tear ducts begin to swell. Love doesn’t let you go so easily, your head is trying to be rational, trying to say ‘you’ve done the same thing, it doesn’t matter, it shows your both making progress’ but your heart is saying ‘but she’s MINE’ and you just want to die inside. It brought back a feeling that I had only ever had once before during our relationship and it wasn’t pretty at all.
The Combo
Emotionally I loved Vicky so much, but Rationally the relationship was, and did, come to an end. Sure we had Great… No, Amazing, times together, and Sure we shared so many wonderful memories but at the end of the day, if it wasn’t working, and we weren’t 100% happy, then it is a good that we came to a mutual decision to end it. I think especially the fact that it was mutual, and it wasn’t one of us forcing it upon the other, that it suggests both of us had a few problems and had considered doing it. We are both young, 18 and 16, and we both have long lives to lead, we should experience things, rather then getting tied up in problems above our age category. If there’s such a thing as fate, and lives are woven together, we will come back to each other in the future, but personally I don’t believe there’s a ‘one’ out there, I believe there to be many, so why not enjoy life while we can? Lets let Married couples deal with the arguments, lets be carefree while it’s still possible.
Me and Vicky broke up about 2 Months ago. Yesterday would have been our Two Year Anniversary, so yeah, that’s pretty sad. Obviously it’s not my place to share all the gory details, and obviously I can’t speak on behalf of her, but I can say my piece. Please, before you read this, understand that this is in no way written harshly or written against her, it was a mutual break-up and neither of us, I hope, harbour ill feelings towards one and other. We are still very good friends and speak regularly.
The Rationale.
I try to be rational. I do. If you think of things rationally there were a few contributing factors to the break-up. We had been doing the long distance thing for awhile, but I don’t think it was the soul reason behind the split. It was defiantly a contributing factor but not the only one really. Rationally long distance is not the best type of relationship; it means you can only see each other rarely, for us it was once a month at the most frequent I believe. It also ranks up costs that as Students we don’t really have the money to pay for and you have to fit it into large chunks that, with hectic learning schedules, we don’t have the time to arrange. Please remember I have separated rational and emotion, so if any of this seems very cold and heartless I will try and back it up in the next section. For awhile we had been getting on each others nerves, I know I can be very stubborn and I am willing to admit that openly, so when I didn’t get my own way, or thought I was right, it was likely I would get pretty heated. This isn’t necessarily a damnation on myself, I think we all do this to some extent. I mean who doesn’t believe their own opinion to be right at least most of the time? Now again rationally this presents to you a problem. Either you have to change for the better of the relationship or its going to go downhill very quickly, and lets face it, how often do people change? Arguments do happen, though they happen more frequently as the relationship goes on. You start thinking ‘It was better at the start’ It is my belief that this is because you become more comfortable and as you become more comfortable you are no longer trying to impress and, in a sense, get a bit lazy. Your willing to fight your corner and say ‘Hold on I want to do this my way’ as you don’t think you have so much at stake, you’ve got the relationship on the go and you know it wont end over one little fight. You also start to notice the things that really bug you about someone else, even the smallest most trivial things, and for some reason a relationship makes them seem worse.
Now anyone will tell you this happens in every relationship ever put forward. I am sure you have heard parents argue. It is, however, my belief that at this age we have too much to experience and too much to do with in your lives. Your life is one journey that you can’t retake, not that I would change anything I have done, I live with the philosophy of ‘No regrets’ after all. I firmly uphold the idea that we should enjoy life as much as we possibly could. Now when you have a relationship which is upsetting either party and isn’t 100% happy you are not going to enjoy other aspects, you are going to be thinking about this too much. We shouldn’t have to deal with arguments or problems at our age. Me and Vicky knew, and had spoke about, the idea that we wouldn’t be together forever. We wanted different things out of life. Also, rationally, the amount of relationships that last from Teenage life to marriage are very few, and those that do often end in divorce. I think as teenagers we are to go out and have fun, have flings, even have relationships, but not too long term. When it starts becoming almost marriage-esque then perhaps its just too much at this age. People are living longer these days and while our parents may have married at the age of 25, people are now not getting married till 35 or so forth. We should enjoy meeting new people, exploring new opportunities, and perhaps being tied down in a relationship just doesn’t help with that. My head told me I wanted to see other people, I wanted to experience things, I wanted, in a sense, some freedom to do things my way.
The Emotion.
This is the bastard. Rationale? Fine! You just forget your heart exists and approach life in an almost mathematical sense. Emotion is the tough one. Love is the toughest thing in the world in my opinion. Breaking up with Vicky ranks on one of the hardest things I have had to combat in my life, especially doing it face to face. Though your arguing, and your getting annoyed at one enough, when we saw each other it was always amazing and left me feeling so positive. I always cried when she had to go back home again and I always felt empty. In fact it wasn’t really till Vicky raised it that I admitted to myself that I had the same considerations. They were always there, in the back of your mind saying ‘This isn’t the best it could be’ but your heart always overrules. Your head is thinking ‘the relationship is not as good as it was’ but your heart is still saying ‘But I love this person, so much’. The heart is a hard thing to argue with. I always say, and it may sound pretentious, that you can control how you think, you can control your legs, your arms, most things down to your finger tips, you can even stop yourself breathing and hold your breath, but you can’t control your heart and stop it beating. The same goes for it emotionally. You can’t just think ‘Oh, I am going to stop loving today’ it just doesn’t happen and in the end its only through it wearing away over time that your going to stop it.
Love is such a MAJOR emotion that I don’t think, as teenagers, we are fully equipped to handle the other feelings it brings with it. We are already a cocktail of hormones and emotions without Love on top. In fact I don't think as humanbeings we should have to handle it, Love can be the most beautiful and poetic thing in the world, it can make you feel the best you've ever felt, but it can also bring about the greatest sadness too. But it is so hard not to have there. You could enter a relationship thinking ‘I am not going to fall in love’ or flirt with someone thinking ‘I am not going to fall in love’ but I reckon if you give it long enough you may do, or you will at least have a pretty strong emotion towards them. Its only natural. Its only human.
Me and Vicky still talk, and we are still friends, but this itself brings a problem, the problem of knowing we will both find someone else. We know we will, its inevitable. Now since the break-up I have flirted with other girls and even been lucky enough to kiss other girls, and my head was saying ‘Yeh, this is good, we are getting over the break-up and experiencing new things just like we wanted’. Then when I find out Vicky has done the same thing, as hypocritical as it is, my stomach feels a massive pain and my tear ducts begin to swell. Love doesn’t let you go so easily, your head is trying to be rational, trying to say ‘you’ve done the same thing, it doesn’t matter, it shows your both making progress’ but your heart is saying ‘but she’s MINE’ and you just want to die inside. It brought back a feeling that I had only ever had once before during our relationship and it wasn’t pretty at all.
The Combo
Emotionally I loved Vicky so much, but Rationally the relationship was, and did, come to an end. Sure we had Great… No, Amazing, times together, and Sure we shared so many wonderful memories but at the end of the day, if it wasn’t working, and we weren’t 100% happy, then it is a good that we came to a mutual decision to end it. I think especially the fact that it was mutual, and it wasn’t one of us forcing it upon the other, that it suggests both of us had a few problems and had considered doing it. We are both young, 18 and 16, and we both have long lives to lead, we should experience things, rather then getting tied up in problems above our age category. If there’s such a thing as fate, and lives are woven together, we will come back to each other in the future, but personally I don’t believe there’s a ‘one’ out there, I believe there to be many, so why not enjoy life while we can? Lets let Married couples deal with the arguments, lets be carefree while it’s still possible.
A galliant return!
I haven’t posted a blog now in over 2 months and I am beginning to lose my motivation. The Shaun and Andy project is going downhill, and only on my behalf, Andy, the budding young author, is still writing and writing while all I am doing is slacking and slacking. This is mainly because I am not motivated and have a lot of coursework on my plate at the moment, this doesn’t mean to say I am DOING the coursework, just that if I write while I have work to finish I feel I should be writing the coursework… It makes sense to me atleast. If I am doing something else, like watching a film or playing a game or just, as I so often do, chill in Woody/Luke/Common’s flat, then it doesn’t seem like I could possibly doing coursework at that time. Logic? Nah, but this is University, Slacking all the way through the first year!
So I am going to change. I am starting this back on the war path and I am going to start writing a bit more too! I am going to catch up on all the stories I have missed over my absence and get my act together!
I am writing the first blog now, so it will be up shortly after this!
So I am going to change. I am starting this back on the war path and I am going to start writing a bit more too! I am going to catch up on all the stories I have missed over my absence and get my act together!
I am writing the first blog now, so it will be up shortly after this!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Karma and Luck
THIS WAS A DRAFT THAT I THOUGHT I MAY AS WELL POST
I am a good person, well, I like to think I am a good person and I would tell you, if you asked, that I am a good person. Ofcourse I could be lieing so who really knows? But just imagine for a second that I am telling the truth, I am a relatively good person.
As a good person I would expect Karma or Luck to reflect this, if they exist. Lets see.
I crash my Car - Bad Luck. However 2 scrapyards near my house each have 2 cars of the same make and we are able to fix my car back to working order for £20 - Good Luck.
I barely tried in my exams, I pass and go to College then to University - Good Luck.
This brings me to a more serious one. My grandad, fit as a fiddle, a kind considerate man with no hate in his heart, has a stroke, something that could only really be caught if a Doctor was looking for it. He is now paralysed and can't really do a lot. Obviously this is very bad and heart breaking in some respects. Bad Luck? Not necessarily. He didn't DIE. If you take the stroke out of the equation of Luck and say it was predestined to happen, then your left with the dichotomy in which the result he recieved was the best, that of life.
This brings me to the fact that I am 18 almost 19 and I am yet to experiance a close family death. My cousin died, in her sleep, when she was 16. Very sad, very unexpected, but she went peacefully and didn't suffer. For my other family I still have both parents, four grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I would say I am very lucky.
I figure this is how faith is started.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Hardboiled
Sat down in front of the keyboard, the thought of typing another blog entry makes its way across my mind. It's been some time since I wrote my Film Noir monologue but I thought I should advertise it on here too. People have told me it's good, I am not too sure, all I know is it was the result of watching Brick with a couple of friends and sitting at a laptop a few hours later. You have to read it in a Hardboiled style though, or else it loses its obvious charm. The kind of stereotypical voice from old private eye films.
Give it a read and leave me some feedback, and check out the Shaun and Andy Project while your at it.
Give it a read and leave me some feedback, and check out the Shaun and Andy Project while your at it.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Lecturer
I have found something to hate. Something to despise with a firey passion.
That something.... Is one of my lecturers.
Oh. My. God. I hate this person.
I am not going to disclose his name, as he seems the type of person to search for his own name in google as a past time, but just know that I don't like this guy. Simply put, I really hate his lecturing style. Now heres why:
The Subject
Maybe I just realyl dislike the subject and find it really boring but I doubt this is the only thing. Today I had my first lecture which involved combining Psychology with this subject. Psychology I find to be incredibly interseting and enjoyable to study, the way he taught it though could convince me to undergo seppuku on even the happiest of Morns. We were taught stuff that I had already learnt, which obviously not everyone learnt as not everyone did Psychology. Fair Beans, I thought. Now in these circumstances I get bored easily, as I already know whats being said, but the way he taught it made my blood boil out of sheer boredom.
Off-Tangent much?
The lectures go on for 2 hours. Firstly, as someone who studies psychology, I know this is too long for people to pay attention. This isn't his choice though so no hardship on that. However, his lectures could be over in thirty minutes if he didn't spend so much time going off topic and talking about god know's what else. I don't mind this if its interesting, it's not that I have a hard time keeping track of the different conversation topics, it's just that when he does go off topic it is about the most boring, most unfunny, most... stupid of things. It's not surprising I spent most of last year playing Tetris on my phone.
Attendance-freak
I dislike the ammount of control this guy likes to have over his lectures. He has a bleeper to read your card to determine whether your in the lecture or not. With other lectures, where they have paper registers, you could obviously ask someone to tick your name for you, but with this bleeper your card has to be present. He also makes sure you go to these 'tutorial' sessions which are, not only badly timed (meaning I should come into Uni when I have no other reason to be there) but they add to the ammount of boredom I must endure. If you don't attend these your marks go down... Great.
Smarm
This guy emitts it in clouds. Smarm. He tries far too hard to be nice to the point where it looks, sounds, and feels fake. These people automatically annoy me. Not nice people. People who are unnaturally nice and... greasy about it too. Its hard to convey in words but I hope you know what I mean.
Humour
Everyone has a different sense of humour, not everyones is to everyone elses taste. I like a lot of humour, from black humour to silly humour. This guys sense of humour is just... I don't know but it's annoying. The only people who laugh with it are those being polite or trying to kiss up to him.
Omni-presence
This guy is everywhere, in every lecture. So far in this course I have had FOUR modules, THREE of which were taught by this guy. ONE wasn't even part of the same subject really, it was part of Sociology. Why is he everywhere? Maybe ONE lecture of his would be alright. But when I imagine me taking this subject for the next THREE years and he is, by this rate, going to be teaching 3/4 of the lectures. I am going to die.
Enjoyability
I just cannot find these lectures enjoyable. I hate going to them. I really, really, really, hate them. But I want the mark on my Degree, saying I took this subject, but... I don't know if I can endure them.
There, I found something to hate for a change.
That something.... Is one of my lecturers.
Oh. My. God. I hate this person.
I am not going to disclose his name, as he seems the type of person to search for his own name in google as a past time, but just know that I don't like this guy. Simply put, I really hate his lecturing style. Now heres why:
The Subject
Maybe I just realyl dislike the subject and find it really boring but I doubt this is the only thing. Today I had my first lecture which involved combining Psychology with this subject. Psychology I find to be incredibly interseting and enjoyable to study, the way he taught it though could convince me to undergo seppuku on even the happiest of Morns. We were taught stuff that I had already learnt, which obviously not everyone learnt as not everyone did Psychology. Fair Beans, I thought. Now in these circumstances I get bored easily, as I already know whats being said, but the way he taught it made my blood boil out of sheer boredom.
Off-Tangent much?
The lectures go on for 2 hours. Firstly, as someone who studies psychology, I know this is too long for people to pay attention. This isn't his choice though so no hardship on that. However, his lectures could be over in thirty minutes if he didn't spend so much time going off topic and talking about god know's what else. I don't mind this if its interesting, it's not that I have a hard time keeping track of the different conversation topics, it's just that when he does go off topic it is about the most boring, most unfunny, most... stupid of things. It's not surprising I spent most of last year playing Tetris on my phone.
Attendance-freak
I dislike the ammount of control this guy likes to have over his lectures. He has a bleeper to read your card to determine whether your in the lecture or not. With other lectures, where they have paper registers, you could obviously ask someone to tick your name for you, but with this bleeper your card has to be present. He also makes sure you go to these 'tutorial' sessions which are, not only badly timed (meaning I should come into Uni when I have no other reason to be there) but they add to the ammount of boredom I must endure. If you don't attend these your marks go down... Great.
Smarm
This guy emitts it in clouds. Smarm. He tries far too hard to be nice to the point where it looks, sounds, and feels fake. These people automatically annoy me. Not nice people. People who are unnaturally nice and... greasy about it too. Its hard to convey in words but I hope you know what I mean.
Humour
Everyone has a different sense of humour, not everyones is to everyone elses taste. I like a lot of humour, from black humour to silly humour. This guys sense of humour is just... I don't know but it's annoying. The only people who laugh with it are those being polite or trying to kiss up to him.
Omni-presence
This guy is everywhere, in every lecture. So far in this course I have had FOUR modules, THREE of which were taught by this guy. ONE wasn't even part of the same subject really, it was part of Sociology. Why is he everywhere? Maybe ONE lecture of his would be alright. But when I imagine me taking this subject for the next THREE years and he is, by this rate, going to be teaching 3/4 of the lectures. I am going to die.
Enjoyability
I just cannot find these lectures enjoyable. I hate going to them. I really, really, really, hate them. But I want the mark on my Degree, saying I took this subject, but... I don't know if I can endure them.
There, I found something to hate for a change.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Evolving with Gaming
Girls can't play Video Games... Oh... Wait... Now hold on.
I have been at University now for over a semester and have got quite a close knit group of friends. Within said group are your Guys and your Girls. You may think you can guess where this is going, The Girls are going to be the Non-Gamers right? Well, your almost there.
Halo 3's multiplayer is probably the item that brought Woody, Luke, Common, and Me together as a friendship group. It sounds sad to admit it, but the highly social aspect of fighting one and other on the Xbox 360 has built solid foudations. We played it for eons and now we like to think were quite good. When a random Girl takes the controller instead of us you will find she stands there facing a wall for a good ten minutes and only manages to turn on the spot. But it isn't only girls. A lot of Guys pick up the game only to do sort of the same thing.
She hasn't got a clue what she is doing.
These Girls are always willing to give Halo 3 a try, eager to infact. So it's not the 'type of game' putting them off. Regular arguements are that girls tend to favour The Sims, and other such slower paced games, but here we have girls wanting to try Halo 3. With that in mind maybe Girls just lack some sort of necessary Gene? Maybe Men have evolved to be able to game? No?
This is a case of Nurture over Nature. From early birth I grew up with an Amiga, Megadrive, and Atari. I learnt to be good at games that involve timing your jumps across colourful platforms and getting to the end of certain levels within a time limit. Anything that was a shooter was either sidescrolling or topdown/birdseye view. I grew up back when gaming was young. Back when characters didn't look like actual people but tiny blocks put on top of each other.
Then I moved on to an N64. Suddenly characters were in 3d and you could run where ever you wanted, jump whether you wanted. Games like Mario which traditionally had ran across the screen were now triplejumping and backflipping over trees and rivers in a fully 3d enviroment. I then had a PS2 where GTA made it's transition from birdseyeview to 3d. What a wonderful transition it was too.
Now I am here with my XBox 360, PS3, and Wii and I find no game really that hard to play (NB: Play in this case means to move the character about and USE the game, the game may still be Hard). Give me a different controller, such as the Wii-mote, a dance mat, or Guitar Hero, and I am still alright. I can adapt to it easy. I believe this to be down to how I have grown using these things as important components in my everyday life. Taking up more of my free time then education or writing. Now this gives me a gaming template, or schema, in my head constantly. Every new game you get you head to the analogue stick to move, you never think it will be the buttons on the right, each game like Halo 3 I can move the character seemlessly, not having to stop to turn around. It gets to the point when you put it in use in real life, learning to drive for instance, I was treating the car as a giant controller! For someone who hasn't grown up in this enviroment it must be a lot harder to adapt to play games. It's not that Girls don't want to play games, it's that they will just have to overcome a higher learning curve, it's exactly the same if a Guy, who has never played games, comes up and tries the same thing. I just think that perhaps parents treated their children in stereotypical manors, giving games to Guys, for them to play and grow with, and not to Girls.
This kid got an N64 for christmas, his sister is blatantly jealous.
When your faced with a present day game you have alot of buttons on your plate. Take the 360 controller; A left analogue stick, a right analogue stick, a DPAD, 4 Buttons (X Y A B), two 'shoulder buttons', two 'triggers'. Thats a lot to do with your hand if you haven't picked up a controller before. It is hard to find something you use in real life which would bridge the gap. It is a completely new concept for some people. Vicky can not yet fully handle moving, shooting, and aiming at the same time, yet she 'captured the flag' and got it all the way back to base, scoring us a point. It shows that you just need to have a bit of practice, and a tolerant teacher, and you should be able to pick up games with such simple concepts as Halo 3 easily.
Me, not Vicky, on the home stretch.
It's been shown in Studies that Guys and Girls have different spatial awareness. Guys being better at it then Girls. Spatial awareness is knowing where things are without touching them, knowing your position without being able to see yourself, in general, finding your way out of a maze. This is probably why Guys are such better drivers! (Don't kill me) Studies even show that this gap between Guys and Girls narrows when the participants are gamers. Games do people good! We need to encourage Gaming!
Typical female driver
This should be a homework project. If you have a friend, be them Girl or Guy, who has never really played games, then get them up to speed! Get them good at atleast one game.
Let me know how you get on.
I have been at University now for over a semester and have got quite a close knit group of friends. Within said group are your Guys and your Girls. You may think you can guess where this is going, The Girls are going to be the Non-Gamers right? Well, your almost there.
Halo 3's multiplayer is probably the item that brought Woody, Luke, Common, and Me together as a friendship group. It sounds sad to admit it, but the highly social aspect of fighting one and other on the Xbox 360 has built solid foudations. We played it for eons and now we like to think were quite good. When a random Girl takes the controller instead of us you will find she stands there facing a wall for a good ten minutes and only manages to turn on the spot. But it isn't only girls. A lot of Guys pick up the game only to do sort of the same thing.
She hasn't got a clue what she is doing.This is a case of Nurture over Nature. From early birth I grew up with an Amiga, Megadrive, and Atari. I learnt to be good at games that involve timing your jumps across colourful platforms and getting to the end of certain levels within a time limit. Anything that was a shooter was either sidescrolling or topdown/birdseye view. I grew up back when gaming was young. Back when characters didn't look like actual people but tiny blocks put on top of each other.
Then I moved on to an N64. Suddenly characters were in 3d and you could run where ever you wanted, jump whether you wanted. Games like Mario which traditionally had ran across the screen were now triplejumping and backflipping over trees and rivers in a fully 3d enviroment. I then had a PS2 where GTA made it's transition from birdseyeview to 3d. What a wonderful transition it was too.
Now I am here with my XBox 360, PS3, and Wii and I find no game really that hard to play (NB: Play in this case means to move the character about and USE the game, the game may still be Hard). Give me a different controller, such as the Wii-mote, a dance mat, or Guitar Hero, and I am still alright. I can adapt to it easy. I believe this to be down to how I have grown using these things as important components in my everyday life. Taking up more of my free time then education or writing. Now this gives me a gaming template, or schema, in my head constantly. Every new game you get you head to the analogue stick to move, you never think it will be the buttons on the right, each game like Halo 3 I can move the character seemlessly, not having to stop to turn around. It gets to the point when you put it in use in real life, learning to drive for instance, I was treating the car as a giant controller! For someone who hasn't grown up in this enviroment it must be a lot harder to adapt to play games. It's not that Girls don't want to play games, it's that they will just have to overcome a higher learning curve, it's exactly the same if a Guy, who has never played games, comes up and tries the same thing. I just think that perhaps parents treated their children in stereotypical manors, giving games to Guys, for them to play and grow with, and not to Girls.
This kid got an N64 for christmas, his sister is blatantly jealous.
Me, not Vicky, on the home stretch.It's been shown in Studies that Guys and Girls have different spatial awareness. Guys being better at it then Girls. Spatial awareness is knowing where things are without touching them, knowing your position without being able to see yourself, in general, finding your way out of a maze. This is probably why Guys are such better drivers! (Don't kill me) Studies even show that this gap between Guys and Girls narrows when the participants are gamers. Games do people good! We need to encourage Gaming!
Typical female driverLet me know how you get on.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Happy Winter-een-mas!
So Winter-een-mas started yesterday!
The gamers holiday, for those of you who think I have gone insane.
I just wish I had more money to buy some games... Or that there were more games out that I want. Currently filling my life with Super Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Almost completed Mario though, absolutely amazing game. A present from an Absolutely amazing person!
Happy Holidays!
The gamers holiday, for those of you who think I have gone insane.
I just wish I had more money to buy some games... Or that there were more games out that I want. Currently filling my life with Super Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Almost completed Mario though, absolutely amazing game. A present from an Absolutely amazing person!
Happy Holidays!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Delays, Thursdays, Rantity Rantity
Ok, So this post is delayed. Much like the post on The Shaun and Andy Project. What? You haven't checked it out yet?
Well hop to it!
But moving on, Its now Friday but I missed a Thursdays 'What I hate' and yesterday.. Well.. I really couldn't find anything I hate, nothing at all pissed me off, I woke up embodying such harmony and lust for life that I must have been sickening to even be near let alone speak to... Ok so I wasn't that bad.
So I got to thinking what I could write about... You have to understand I am not an angry person, not a lot can annoy me... PEOPLE can Annoy me, thats another matter, but not a lot in general really annoys me. This is proving a difficult task. However, they say its good to vent, good for the soul, good for your blood level, all that, so lets do it. I thought.. What should I type about? Lectures started this week?, well thats an easy subject, The state of my Kitchen?, I'd sound like a cleanliness freak... but my kitchen is so bad, What about how I actually considered skipping my lessons today on one of my first days back? You know.. Write more about my motivation, like you haven't heard enough of that already.
I have decided to write about Lectures, but a certain type, I am going to be chatting to you proper good fellows in about I.T. lessons. Thats right! I.T. Information Technology. That glorious subject.
I.T. lessons are a blessing and a curse. On one hand I find them RIDDICULUSLY easy, and in that sense they are great, but on the other hand.... Where do they find the teachers? Any teacher that has EVER taught me I.T. (NB: I.T. not Computing) I swear has read the instruction manual all the way through and then lived by that.
Back in G.N.V.Q. I.C.T. (that stands for something but I'll be damned if I ever remembered it) at Tudor Grange I swear I was pretty much better then the teacher at I.T. We had a kooky and wacky teacher called Mr. Ireland. Instantly if someone is named after a country you think 'How modest' or 'Ooo Marvel Hero' (See: Captain America) Mr. Ireland was very much the former rather than the latter. He was a not so modest gentleman with an inpressively fast walk, of which could have won marathons, and a fascist sympathiser. We infact made up a song one night, Tommy Potter Dan and I, called Mr. Ireland is a Nazi Stormtrooper (Tommy was the leader of this, taking on the role of both lyricist and musician, we sort of backing sung but still our hearts into it so they were). I think I am trailing off about Mr. Ireland, a subject for another time, since I don't actually, and never actually, hated this man and so cannot put him down in my rant. What I did hate however was how he was worse then me at I.T. When I look for a tutor, a mentor, a wise old man on top of a hill, I don't look to someone who knows basically everything I already know and then a bit less. I want someone I can learn from. Back in I.T. We had a whole lesson on Printing and Saving. I mean... Does everyone not already know that? If they don't then WHY are they taking I.C.T?
In all my years of experiance in I.C.T. I have already known practically everything I have been taught. Obviously you learn different variations of things and thats understandable but I was better left to my own devices.
Today we were given a relatively simple program to use, which some people didn't understand. I can allow that. It's not peoples fault if they joined Psychology and were faced by a computer program. Thats FINE. But when the teacher doesn't understand the program either... Things get a little different. I mean, I figured out this program within a few minutes and finished all 3 tasks about 20 minutes before the end of the lesson while the teacher still ran around trying to deal with Question One. I'd like to point out I dealt with them Correctly!
This is why I do not like I.T. lessons. At All. They are a great chance to doss yes but they are so mindnumbing that I think I actually recline in terms of how well I use computers.
Please excuse the sloppy nature of this post, I have had absolutely no sleep since yesterday. I am very tired. VERY Tired. Please appreciate I won't be thinking right.
Well hop to it!
But moving on, Its now Friday but I missed a Thursdays 'What I hate' and yesterday.. Well.. I really couldn't find anything I hate, nothing at all pissed me off, I woke up embodying such harmony and lust for life that I must have been sickening to even be near let alone speak to... Ok so I wasn't that bad.
So I got to thinking what I could write about... You have to understand I am not an angry person, not a lot can annoy me... PEOPLE can Annoy me, thats another matter, but not a lot in general really annoys me. This is proving a difficult task. However, they say its good to vent, good for the soul, good for your blood level, all that, so lets do it. I thought.. What should I type about? Lectures started this week?, well thats an easy subject, The state of my Kitchen?, I'd sound like a cleanliness freak... but my kitchen is so bad, What about how I actually considered skipping my lessons today on one of my first days back? You know.. Write more about my motivation, like you haven't heard enough of that already.
I have decided to write about Lectures, but a certain type, I am going to be chatting to you proper good fellows in about I.T. lessons. Thats right! I.T. Information Technology. That glorious subject.
I.T. lessons are a blessing and a curse. On one hand I find them RIDDICULUSLY easy, and in that sense they are great, but on the other hand.... Where do they find the teachers? Any teacher that has EVER taught me I.T. (NB: I.T. not Computing) I swear has read the instruction manual all the way through and then lived by that.
Back in G.N.V.Q. I.C.T. (that stands for something but I'll be damned if I ever remembered it) at Tudor Grange I swear I was pretty much better then the teacher at I.T. We had a kooky and wacky teacher called Mr. Ireland. Instantly if someone is named after a country you think 'How modest' or 'Ooo Marvel Hero' (See: Captain America) Mr. Ireland was very much the former rather than the latter. He was a not so modest gentleman with an inpressively fast walk, of which could have won marathons, and a fascist sympathiser. We infact made up a song one night, Tommy Potter Dan and I, called Mr. Ireland is a Nazi Stormtrooper (Tommy was the leader of this, taking on the role of both lyricist and musician, we sort of backing sung but still our hearts into it so they were). I think I am trailing off about Mr. Ireland, a subject for another time, since I don't actually, and never actually, hated this man and so cannot put him down in my rant. What I did hate however was how he was worse then me at I.T. When I look for a tutor, a mentor, a wise old man on top of a hill, I don't look to someone who knows basically everything I already know and then a bit less. I want someone I can learn from. Back in I.T. We had a whole lesson on Printing and Saving. I mean... Does everyone not already know that? If they don't then WHY are they taking I.C.T?
In all my years of experiance in I.C.T. I have already known practically everything I have been taught. Obviously you learn different variations of things and thats understandable but I was better left to my own devices.
Today we were given a relatively simple program to use, which some people didn't understand. I can allow that. It's not peoples fault if they joined Psychology and were faced by a computer program. Thats FINE. But when the teacher doesn't understand the program either... Things get a little different. I mean, I figured out this program within a few minutes and finished all 3 tasks about 20 minutes before the end of the lesson while the teacher still ran around trying to deal with Question One. I'd like to point out I dealt with them Correctly!
This is why I do not like I.T. lessons. At All. They are a great chance to doss yes but they are so mindnumbing that I think I actually recline in terms of how well I use computers.
Please excuse the sloppy nature of this post, I have had absolutely no sleep since yesterday. I am very tired. VERY Tired. Please appreciate I won't be thinking right.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Wake up Neo...
"Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?"
So the Matrix is a film, a work of fiction, but dreams can be quite real that its actually scary, I realised this earlier today. I will often have dreams that I precieve as real as they are just so... normal... And today was one of them.
I hadn't got into bed properly till about 6:00Am as I was too busy either:
A. Updating this blog
B. Updating the Shaun and Andy Project
C. Playing Super Mario Galaxy (just one more star.... fuck it.... lets get another)
Now I am quite used to having strangly vivid and imaginative dreams. The more nosey of you may have noticed my other blog in which I talk about these crazy happenenings. I've only just started them, but I may create a list of the old ones I can remember.
Anyway, back to today. Since I hadn't got to bed till the early hours I was sure I wasn't going to wake up well, I was quite correct on this point. But as Matthew Common, a cheeky young devil from Derby Uni, was waiting for me to get up and go with him to town I was recieving texts and phonecalls galore. Now I read this text, and I sent him a few back
'Can we do it later?'
'Sure'
'I'll text you when I am up then'
Sorted I thought. Be up about 2:00PM or 3:00PM. Enter Dream State..... NOW:
I woke up about 3:00, changed my alarm again, woke up at 4ish... fell back asleep. Didn't from then get up till about 6:00. Text Common to say "The shop is only open another hour, it wont be worth it" and then fell back asleep till about 7:00. I then woke up thinking 'Crap, Will need to eat then will probably be going to the pub at about 8:00' Boy was I wrong. I looked towards my curtains from my bed and saw light shining in...
I had woken up at 2:00. All of that was just a dream. But it had seemed so real. From the text I sent to Common, to the noises I heard outside. It was just crazy. I can tell you it took me a while to get my head around the whole event and work out what was real and what was false.
GGGOOOAAALLL
I have been thinking that I need to really sort out my Goals in life, a list of things I want to achieve.
I did this about a year ago on 43things but it just got a bit silly. So I am going to list things here and may refer back to it in the future. I am going to include a short explaination of them too to help judge why I want them to be done. I also plan on putting in the ones I have already completed.
Red: Incomplete
Yellow: Partially Complete or Made Signifigant Progress Towards
Green: Done
Writing:
Publish a book: As you may have guessed from my Blog I enjoy writing and have always wanted to write. This is partially done as I wrote and published a novella for Vickys birthday. Quite a few errors in it! I want to publish something properly, have it on sale in a bookstore. Not necessarily so people will read my work but so I can say I have
Publish an Article: I want to be featured in a magazine, even if its only once and is a small collumn in a bottom corner. Just to say I have and to keep a clipping.
Publish an Anthology: Again like the novel I would like to publish a series of short stories. I have some ideas, but not nearly enough.
Enter a Writing Competion: Theres a few I am looking at, need to get started on the writing though. Perhaps something from the Shaun and Andy project would one day make a good entry.
Film/Play:
Write a Script: I have had a few Idea's, started writing it, but then failed due to lack of motivation. Hopefully I can get that back on track soon. There was also my short film script which was a bit... meh.
Direct a Film: Almost got there, almost, but when plans were screwed up and someone couldn't make it filming just ceased and never got planned again. Had bought the cammera for £200 and even painted the loft.
Act in a Film: Again this would have happened, see above.
Edit a Film: See above once more.
Other Arts:
Learn an Instrument: I think we should all learn an instrument before we die... and I don't think the recorder I learnt during Reception counted for much.
Gaming:
Attend a Games Convention (e.g E3): With E3 being made smaller the only other chance of getting to a Games Convention is Leipzieg in Germany. Maybe... Probably not though.
Own Every Console: Atari, Amiga, PC, Megadrive, Dreamcast, Nes, Snes, N64, Gamecube, Wii, Playstation, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Xbox, Xbox 360. Gameboy SP, DS, PSP. Almost, but not quite.
Family and Future:
Get Married: When it comes to the time I will want to settle down, have a wife with whom I shall live happily ever after... Or just to prolong a divorce with
Have Kids: Some day I want Shaun Jnr Running around and causing mayhem, ahh the joys of life... Not to mention the fun that comes with making him ;) (Should this be partially complete perhaps?)
Get a good job: So that I am not stuck in dead end retail work all my life! This is partially done as I am in Uni, but all could fail couldn't it? Got to keep my motivation up and work hard!
Other:
Move out: Already at University and have a house lined up. It's all on track at the moment!
Learn to Drive: This was a big thing for me. It's really a skill pretty much everyone picks up at some point or another but I wanted to complete it before I was 17. Luckily I acheived this. I am quite proud of myself being able to drive and most people who can will remember the time it happened to them and how exciting it is when you can finally go out on the road and do whatever you want.
Get Fit: I need to do this one. It's really quite important. I need to tone up and start eating healthier... but who can resist the goodies and the sitting on your arse all day!
Go to College: So that I can get into Uni!
Go to Uni: Thats done. I am here! My Education is very important to me, I want a good, decent, highpaying job that I actually enjoy!
Sky Dive: Ever since I had a dream about it I have wanted to do it, But I am actually far too scared!
Start an Internet Business: This is something I really want. I want something that I can look back and say 'I made this, people use it, and it's making me money!' Again I don't just want it for the money as, like book writing, I want it to say I have done it and acheived it... Not that the money wouldn't be nice... It's just thinking up the ideas and going about them!
Bloody hell, thats an awful lot. Good thing I am still Young!
I did this about a year ago on 43things but it just got a bit silly. So I am going to list things here and may refer back to it in the future. I am going to include a short explaination of them too to help judge why I want them to be done. I also plan on putting in the ones I have already completed.
Red: Incomplete
Yellow: Partially Complete or Made Signifigant Progress Towards
Green: Done
Writing:
Publish a book: As you may have guessed from my Blog I enjoy writing and have always wanted to write. This is partially done as I wrote and published a novella for Vickys birthday. Quite a few errors in it! I want to publish something properly, have it on sale in a bookstore. Not necessarily so people will read my work but so I can say I have
Publish an Article: I want to be featured in a magazine, even if its only once and is a small collumn in a bottom corner. Just to say I have and to keep a clipping.
Publish an Anthology: Again like the novel I would like to publish a series of short stories. I have some ideas, but not nearly enough.
Enter a Writing Competion: Theres a few I am looking at, need to get started on the writing though. Perhaps something from the Shaun and Andy project would one day make a good entry.
Film/Play:
Write a Script: I have had a few Idea's, started writing it, but then failed due to lack of motivation. Hopefully I can get that back on track soon. There was also my short film script which was a bit... meh.
Direct a Film: Almost got there, almost, but when plans were screwed up and someone couldn't make it filming just ceased and never got planned again. Had bought the cammera for £200 and even painted the loft.
Act in a Film: Again this would have happened, see above.
Edit a Film: See above once more.
Other Arts:
Learn an Instrument: I think we should all learn an instrument before we die... and I don't think the recorder I learnt during Reception counted for much.
Gaming:
Attend a Games Convention (e.g E3): With E3 being made smaller the only other chance of getting to a Games Convention is Leipzieg in Germany. Maybe... Probably not though.
Own Every Console: Atari, Amiga, PC, Megadrive, Dreamcast, Nes, Snes, N64, Gamecube, Wii, Playstation, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Xbox, Xbox 360. Gameboy SP, DS, PSP. Almost, but not quite.
Family and Future:
Get Married: When it comes to the time I will want to settle down, have a wife with whom I shall live happily ever after... Or just to prolong a divorce with
Have Kids: Some day I want Shaun Jnr Running around and causing mayhem, ahh the joys of life... Not to mention the fun that comes with making him ;) (Should this be partially complete perhaps?)
Get a good job: So that I am not stuck in dead end retail work all my life! This is partially done as I am in Uni, but all could fail couldn't it? Got to keep my motivation up and work hard!
Other:
Move out: Already at University and have a house lined up. It's all on track at the moment!
Learn to Drive: This was a big thing for me. It's really a skill pretty much everyone picks up at some point or another but I wanted to complete it before I was 17. Luckily I acheived this. I am quite proud of myself being able to drive and most people who can will remember the time it happened to them and how exciting it is when you can finally go out on the road and do whatever you want.
Get Fit: I need to do this one. It's really quite important. I need to tone up and start eating healthier... but who can resist the goodies and the sitting on your arse all day!
Go to College: So that I can get into Uni!
Go to Uni: Thats done. I am here! My Education is very important to me, I want a good, decent, highpaying job that I actually enjoy!
Sky Dive: Ever since I had a dream about it I have wanted to do it, But I am actually far too scared!
Start an Internet Business: This is something I really want. I want something that I can look back and say 'I made this, people use it, and it's making me money!' Again I don't just want it for the money as, like book writing, I want it to say I have done it and acheived it... Not that the money wouldn't be nice... It's just thinking up the ideas and going about them!
Bloody hell, thats an awful lot. Good thing I am still Young!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Project
In a daring attempt to save our creativity my friend Andy and I have challeneged our imaginations and literary abilities to some writing. We are hoping it is something not only us but all of you can Enjoy.
I have set up a blog for it here.
Basically we have a set theme each week. Week one for Instance was Romance. Now between the two Sundays we had to write a piece of Romantic Fiction and then by the Monday we had to have read each others piece and given it a 'likes and dislikes' style review. This way we will challenge ourselves, not only to do more writing, but also to write in new areas that we haven't written before. Also, the critism is going to be quite helpful as we will learn just what to try and change. It might be hard at first, critising each piece, but after awhile we should be able to talk quite harshly about each other.
It's part of my grand scheme to save myself from dwindling into nothingness and to boost my creativity. I need this! So please, if you are a friend of mine or even someone who has happened upon my blog and wishes to read new stories/poetry/literature each week then please keep track of it. If your a friend I should hope you would do this! You should be able to leave annoymous comments on these blogs without signing up, if that is the case, we would both be grateful if you could leave some critisms on our work either on this blog, our joint blog, or on our Deviantart.
Thank you in advance for those of you that do want to keep track. You will be a great help to us!
I have set up a blog for it here.
Basically we have a set theme each week. Week one for Instance was Romance. Now between the two Sundays we had to write a piece of Romantic Fiction and then by the Monday we had to have read each others piece and given it a 'likes and dislikes' style review. This way we will challenge ourselves, not only to do more writing, but also to write in new areas that we haven't written before. Also, the critism is going to be quite helpful as we will learn just what to try and change. It might be hard at first, critising each piece, but after awhile we should be able to talk quite harshly about each other.
It's part of my grand scheme to save myself from dwindling into nothingness and to boost my creativity. I need this! So please, if you are a friend of mine or even someone who has happened upon my blog and wishes to read new stories/poetry/literature each week then please keep track of it. If your a friend I should hope you would do this! You should be able to leave annoymous comments on these blogs without signing up, if that is the case, we would both be grateful if you could leave some critisms on our work either on this blog, our joint blog, or on our Deviantart.
Thank you in advance for those of you that do want to keep track. You will be a great help to us!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I Dont Like Thursdays...
Tell me why!
In approximatly two hours from now, from the time I am starting this, I have an exam. Bloody brilliant ay? I absolutely hate exams, I get stressed right near the deadline, not anywhere near before, and I can't revise even if someone put a gun to my head. I just look at the papers I have and think 'I know this... I bloody learnt it in a lesson' but I can't recall it without some sort of cue. It's awful. It means I get bored reading it, because I feel I know it, but I don't know it properly. I'll update this later after my exam.
This leads me to start a new project for this blog. I have my general thoughts about general subjects but every Thursday I am going to try and get out a RANT. I hate Thursdays. Nothing good has ever happened to me on a thursday. I will show you:
Thursdays were the day of my Karate lessons, which I hated.
Thursdays were my longest day at college.
Thursdays ARE the first day of my Uni week. (yes, I am only in for two days)
Thursdays are the day after Wednesday, a day I like since its like an island in the sea of the working week; it says "Heres halfway! Not long to go!". Thursdays are also the day before Friday, which is that last day and has, possibly, the greatest evening of alltime, therefore Thursday is an unnecessary bridge between two of my favourite days.
Thursday is TODAY and the day my Exam is on. One exam, in the whole term, the first exam ever at University and where does it fall on?
All my coursework last term was in for a Friday, but being good, I wanted to get it in before the deadline. What day was that? THURSDAY!
Thursdays, when I have time off and holiday, tend to be the most boring of days.
As you can see, I don't much like Thursdays. The only real good things that have happened on Thursdays are when Vicky has come up from London to see me, two of these times have been on the dreaded Thursday. I'd like to see Bob Geldoff write about them, "I don't like Thursdays" could be the sequal. It would probably make me hate them more...
EDIT
The Exam went... Ok. First of all they are the same as the college and secondary school exams. You sit down, they check your card to make sure you are who you are, and then you carry out the exam. The only real difference was you didn't have an alloted seat. I was completely mind-boggled when I walked in as to where I was meant to sit, till I noticed people tended to sit with mates rather then anywhere specific.
There is also evidence that my theory, that of Thursdays being Bollox, is correct. For instance:
I only found out it was an Open Exam Fifteen minutes before. Meaning I could have brought some notes.
We had to draw a GRAPH on Page two. A GRAPH. I had no idea I was expected to draw a graph, let alone what type of exam to draw. It's quite crazy.
Question number 4 was missing... Why? Typo? It was quite bizzarre. I felt I should ask... But then thought fuck it and carried on.
All in all, it went quite quick, which was good, but I probably screwed up. Stupid Thursdays!
In approximatly two hours from now, from the time I am starting this, I have an exam. Bloody brilliant ay? I absolutely hate exams, I get stressed right near the deadline, not anywhere near before, and I can't revise even if someone put a gun to my head. I just look at the papers I have and think 'I know this... I bloody learnt it in a lesson' but I can't recall it without some sort of cue. It's awful. It means I get bored reading it, because I feel I know it, but I don't know it properly. I'll update this later after my exam.
This leads me to start a new project for this blog. I have my general thoughts about general subjects but every Thursday I am going to try and get out a RANT. I hate Thursdays. Nothing good has ever happened to me on a thursday. I will show you:
Thursdays were the day of my Karate lessons, which I hated.
Thursdays were my longest day at college.
Thursdays ARE the first day of my Uni week. (yes, I am only in for two days)
Thursdays are the day after Wednesday, a day I like since its like an island in the sea of the working week; it says "Heres halfway! Not long to go!". Thursdays are also the day before Friday, which is that last day and has, possibly, the greatest evening of alltime, therefore Thursday is an unnecessary bridge between two of my favourite days.
Thursday is TODAY and the day my Exam is on. One exam, in the whole term, the first exam ever at University and where does it fall on?
All my coursework last term was in for a Friday, but being good, I wanted to get it in before the deadline. What day was that? THURSDAY!
Thursdays, when I have time off and holiday, tend to be the most boring of days.
As you can see, I don't much like Thursdays. The only real good things that have happened on Thursdays are when Vicky has come up from London to see me, two of these times have been on the dreaded Thursday. I'd like to see Bob Geldoff write about them, "I don't like Thursdays" could be the sequal. It would probably make me hate them more...
EDIT
The Exam went... Ok. First of all they are the same as the college and secondary school exams. You sit down, they check your card to make sure you are who you are, and then you carry out the exam. The only real difference was you didn't have an alloted seat. I was completely mind-boggled when I walked in as to where I was meant to sit, till I noticed people tended to sit with mates rather then anywhere specific.
There is also evidence that my theory, that of Thursdays being Bollox, is correct. For instance:
I only found out it was an Open Exam Fifteen minutes before. Meaning I could have brought some notes.
We had to draw a GRAPH on Page two. A GRAPH. I had no idea I was expected to draw a graph, let alone what type of exam to draw. It's quite crazy.
Question number 4 was missing... Why? Typo? It was quite bizzarre. I felt I should ask... But then thought fuck it and carried on.
All in all, it went quite quick, which was good, but I probably screwed up. Stupid Thursdays!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A home in any other house...
So Today I moved back to University. It took about an Hour to drive here, but that was by speeding down the motorway which can be dangerous! So don't do it! It actually took longer to unpack the back of my car then it did to get here, mainly because I am a slow and undermotivated worker whereas in a car you can't really slack. I forgot my laptop, my pride-and-joy, so my parents had to bring it up. How stupid can I be? Good thing I got it though, I have to revise for Thursday... Yay. Imagine if I had an even bigger excuse not to revise... would hardly help me.
Anyway. Today we also, hopefully, have bought a house... For me and a few University chums to live in and pay rent towards for the rest of our stay here. Now this house is NICE. It is much better then any student house, more space for a start, and it also feels a lot more homely. I can imagine myself living there quite happily. It's almost as big as my house at home... well... Not quite but it feels big. It has a proper hallway, landing, Kitchen, Lounge, Bedrooms, so on and so forth. The only problem I can forsee is the size of the bedrooms for the other housemates, their a tad... Small... well... Not small small, I am not damning them to the space under the stairs like a poormans harry potter, but their not grandeous. I reckon though, since the house itself is so nice, that we will not spend as much time in our rooms. Our rooms at Uni are not just bedrooms but also lounges and, to some extent, dining areas. With a house this wont be the case. We can sit downstairs, watch TV, and eat in the kitchen. All happy families.
Another plus is it's going to be fourbedroom. Theres currently three bedrooms and a study, which can easily be converted into a room. That means four of us.
Another plus is the rent. I am not sure just how much it will be at the moment... And I wont give any details incase my fellow lodgers are reading and get hyped up about cheapness or depressed about expense but my parents are looking to do it 'all inclusive'. Unlike a bed'n'breakfast where it means we will be cooked for it means we will enjoy the luxory of paying ONE fee. The rent. The rest, the water bill, gas bill, telephone bill, internet bill, will all be included and taken into account within the rent. Personally, If it costs a bit extra then a normal rented place, but is ten times better in how it looks and, more importantly, feels then I would rather that extra cost.
Another plus is... Have I said how NICE this place is? I mean... I have been to student houses before and, granted it was in the middle of a party with lots of people, but they have seemed a little small, with a little kitchen, and little hallways, just very... cheap. This brings me to another plus...
Another plus is that my Parents are the landlords. This is a double edged sword. On one side... I wouldn't want to see my Dad after someone upset him... On the other side, I am their son, their spoilt only-child, and they wouldn't want me to live in a crap house... Meaning that, though the house is already NICE, they will ensure it's got decent furniture and so on. Other landlords most probably don't give a damn as long as it meets standards and they get rent, but my parents will have an emotional envestment, me, and will try harder. (Not to mean that they will be there everyday sorting out problems but just meaning initially they will set it out quite nicely)
Another plus is the houses area... Now this could come as a Minus... depending on whom you ask. The house is in a quiet location, with no real traffic noise or noisey neighbours. However it is also just literally down the road from my current residence, meaning close to Town and Uni and is also close to the other houses being rented to students. Theres a few roads souly full of Student Housing. We are close to that.
Another plus is that this house has big common rooms. The kitchen is VERY nice. It's wonderful. A lot better then any kitchen in Student housing/halls of residence. The kitchen is also very spacious, rather then these narrow galley ones. There is also a table to eat at. How quaint. As for the Lounge, well, what can I say? It is almost as big as mine at home. Room enough for sofa's and chairs, tv's and console's, by the time we are done it could look like aladins cave, all decorated with golden treasures.
Now the minus'.
One minus is that my parents are the landlords, meaning I am not actually away from them. On the plus side they can't complain anymore that my room is untidy, as Its nothing to do with them, but on the other side when I have a problem I have to go running back to mommy/daddy... Because their the landlords. Also theres the fact that if my parents realise something BAD is happening. Such as were not really looking after the house, then my dad will most probably blow steam out his ears.
Another minus is the area. As I said before its close to where all the parties will be, while being in a quiet location. The minus' here are that the area is currently quiet... so would like to stay that way. The next door neighbour is a wife with a husband and kids, not exactly the party types. Also, most the people around there are families too. So no noise again. The area is also not on the row of student houses. Meaning that we don't have the 'student community' with all our ex-halls friends. Though they are not too far to visit, five minutes away at a quick walk, we are kind of out the loop.
Another minus is the size of the bedrooms. Now the master bedroom is great... But its mine! haha. But for the others the rooms are... pleasantly sized. Their not extravagant, and two are on the small side. Now I don't know how much this will effect people living there, but if it was me I wouldn't care so much. Who knows? Maybe people are fussy? Personally, as I have said above, I believe we will spend more time in the lounge then in our rooms. Its more like a home then it is like a Uni Dorm.
There.
3 minus' which arn't very big, and 6 big plus'.
What more could you want?
Anyway. Today we also, hopefully, have bought a house... For me and a few University chums to live in and pay rent towards for the rest of our stay here. Now this house is NICE. It is much better then any student house, more space for a start, and it also feels a lot more homely. I can imagine myself living there quite happily. It's almost as big as my house at home... well... Not quite but it feels big. It has a proper hallway, landing, Kitchen, Lounge, Bedrooms, so on and so forth. The only problem I can forsee is the size of the bedrooms for the other housemates, their a tad... Small... well... Not small small, I am not damning them to the space under the stairs like a poormans harry potter, but their not grandeous. I reckon though, since the house itself is so nice, that we will not spend as much time in our rooms. Our rooms at Uni are not just bedrooms but also lounges and, to some extent, dining areas. With a house this wont be the case. We can sit downstairs, watch TV, and eat in the kitchen. All happy families.
Another plus is it's going to be fourbedroom. Theres currently three bedrooms and a study, which can easily be converted into a room. That means four of us.
Another plus is the rent. I am not sure just how much it will be at the moment... And I wont give any details incase my fellow lodgers are reading and get hyped up about cheapness or depressed about expense but my parents are looking to do it 'all inclusive'. Unlike a bed'n'breakfast where it means we will be cooked for it means we will enjoy the luxory of paying ONE fee. The rent. The rest, the water bill, gas bill, telephone bill, internet bill, will all be included and taken into account within the rent. Personally, If it costs a bit extra then a normal rented place, but is ten times better in how it looks and, more importantly, feels then I would rather that extra cost.
Another plus is... Have I said how NICE this place is? I mean... I have been to student houses before and, granted it was in the middle of a party with lots of people, but they have seemed a little small, with a little kitchen, and little hallways, just very... cheap. This brings me to another plus...
Another plus is that my Parents are the landlords. This is a double edged sword. On one side... I wouldn't want to see my Dad after someone upset him... On the other side, I am their son, their spoilt only-child, and they wouldn't want me to live in a crap house... Meaning that, though the house is already NICE, they will ensure it's got decent furniture and so on. Other landlords most probably don't give a damn as long as it meets standards and they get rent, but my parents will have an emotional envestment, me, and will try harder. (Not to mean that they will be there everyday sorting out problems but just meaning initially they will set it out quite nicely)
Another plus is the houses area... Now this could come as a Minus... depending on whom you ask. The house is in a quiet location, with no real traffic noise or noisey neighbours. However it is also just literally down the road from my current residence, meaning close to Town and Uni and is also close to the other houses being rented to students. Theres a few roads souly full of Student Housing. We are close to that.
Another plus is that this house has big common rooms. The kitchen is VERY nice. It's wonderful. A lot better then any kitchen in Student housing/halls of residence. The kitchen is also very spacious, rather then these narrow galley ones. There is also a table to eat at. How quaint. As for the Lounge, well, what can I say? It is almost as big as mine at home. Room enough for sofa's and chairs, tv's and console's, by the time we are done it could look like aladins cave, all decorated with golden treasures.
Now the minus'.
One minus is that my parents are the landlords, meaning I am not actually away from them. On the plus side they can't complain anymore that my room is untidy, as Its nothing to do with them, but on the other side when I have a problem I have to go running back to mommy/daddy... Because their the landlords. Also theres the fact that if my parents realise something BAD is happening. Such as were not really looking after the house, then my dad will most probably blow steam out his ears.
Another minus is the area. As I said before its close to where all the parties will be, while being in a quiet location. The minus' here are that the area is currently quiet... so would like to stay that way. The next door neighbour is a wife with a husband and kids, not exactly the party types. Also, most the people around there are families too. So no noise again. The area is also not on the row of student houses. Meaning that we don't have the 'student community' with all our ex-halls friends. Though they are not too far to visit, five minutes away at a quick walk, we are kind of out the loop.
Another minus is the size of the bedrooms. Now the master bedroom is great... But its mine! haha. But for the others the rooms are... pleasantly sized. Their not extravagant, and two are on the small side. Now I don't know how much this will effect people living there, but if it was me I wouldn't care so much. Who knows? Maybe people are fussy? Personally, as I have said above, I believe we will spend more time in the lounge then in our rooms. Its more like a home then it is like a Uni Dorm.
There.
3 minus' which arn't very big, and 6 big plus'.
What more could you want?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Gifted and Talented
I've been thinking about these 'Talents' people have.
On the little old channel they call E4 a new wave of Big Brother started a week ago today. Now, I've always been a fan of NORMAL Big Brother but the Celebrity one usually got on my nerves... Luckily this year its been replaced with 'BigBrother Celebrity Hijack' and the contestants are not the celebrities we saw once before but my age group, between 18 - 21, who all have a 'Talent'. Theres a singer/songwriter, an artist, the chairman of the Scottish youth parliament, a race car driver, and so on. (All, with details, can be found here)Theres even an exceptionally fit circus performer who is so flexable, born in where I live, and has a wonderful eastern European accent...... *fades off into fantasy* Wait? Where was I? So these are people, all in my age group I stress, are Talented and moving their way sharply up in the world. Where does that leave me?
These are people to whom I have a deal of respect. When I was younger, and frightfully naive I might add, I used to believe that I would be able to get a book published by the time I was 18. I am 18 now... So where does that leave me? What I had failed to notice, back in my youth, was that I have an incredible lack of motivation that doesn't quite aid me in me quest for publication. I also didn't give due attention to me being shit within the literacy field. Reading back what I used to write I get this awful cringe in the pit of my stomach. It was alright for my age I suppose, but when my lack of motivation took over my ambition, and all those other words ending in "tion", my skills didn't ascend further but sort of dwindled backwards at a steady pace. Thats what this whole blog shenanigan is for. If I have a goal to achieve, if I am doing it for someone other then myself and receive some encouragement I should be able to do something worthwhile. I am going to be entering a few writing competitions too. I especially liked the look of this one where you join up before hand and then on the date your given the subject and 24 hours to write about it. I work best under pressure.
On the little old channel they call E4 a new wave of Big Brother started a week ago today. Now, I've always been a fan of NORMAL Big Brother but the Celebrity one usually got on my nerves... Luckily this year its been replaced with 'BigBrother Celebrity Hijack' and the contestants are not the celebrities we saw once before but my age group, between 18 - 21, who all have a 'Talent'. Theres a singer/songwriter, an artist, the chairman of the Scottish youth parliament, a race car driver, and so on. (All, with details, can be found here)Theres even an exceptionally fit circus performer who is so flexable, born in where I live, and has a wonderful eastern European accent...... *fades off into fantasy* Wait? Where was I? So these are people, all in my age group I stress, are Talented and moving their way sharply up in the world. Where does that leave me?
These are people to whom I have a deal of respect. When I was younger, and frightfully naive I might add, I used to believe that I would be able to get a book published by the time I was 18. I am 18 now... So where does that leave me? What I had failed to notice, back in my youth, was that I have an incredible lack of motivation that doesn't quite aid me in me quest for publication. I also didn't give due attention to me being shit within the literacy field. Reading back what I used to write I get this awful cringe in the pit of my stomach. It was alright for my age I suppose, but when my lack of motivation took over my ambition, and all those other words ending in "tion", my skills didn't ascend further but sort of dwindled backwards at a steady pace. Thats what this whole blog shenanigan is for. If I have a goal to achieve, if I am doing it for someone other then myself and receive some encouragement I should be able to do something worthwhile. I am going to be entering a few writing competitions too. I especially liked the look of this one where you join up before hand and then on the date your given the subject and 24 hours to write about it. I work best under pressure.
I think 'Talents' come to people, you just get these Naturals who pretty much just 'get it' when it comes to their subject. Whether this is science, maths, the arts, sport, or whatever else there is out there, I think you just get the 'naturals'. For them practice makes perfect, but they had a sort of handicap in favor to begin with, whereas everyone else has to practice just to be 'alright' at it. Personally I'd love to be able to draw and you get these natural painters and sketchers. Writing comes a bit more naturally to me, (please note 'bit') I've never really written anything I am truly proud of but other people have liked some of my stuff but they could just be being nice, or swaying in my favour because I am a mate.
I suppose I am thinking about this really because what have I really achieved in my life? A purple belt in Karate, which I took for Seven years and was still a porky kid, and two years of Drama school, which I went off after my friend left when I really should have carried on (though it probably wouldn't have aided what little masculinity I have). See what I mean about motivation? I don't have the... 'stick with it-ness', the perseverance.
I mean one of the guys on this BigBrother started his business before he was 10 and is now, at 19, running an internet company with a turnover of £200,000 a year... Wow. I have always wanted one of these internet businesses which just take off but I can't see any niches. Maybe one day an idea may hit me, but until then, I am too unmotivated to look. I really need to do something about this motivation... I will you know, I am determined to get my ass up and achieve something.
If practice makes perfect, I'm going to need practice. For that I need motivation, determination, and perseverance. I give my electronic signature right here on this blog. I am going to try for a change. If I don't, please feel free to laugh and ridicule me, it might help me push forward... or send me on a spiral of depression. Either is a change.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Under the influence...
Today I have been thinking about Influence.
I have always been easily influenced. It's nothing I hide.
If you told me a band was great, revolutionary, and should be held in the utmost esteem I would probably believe you... without even knowing the bands name or hearing a song they had done. My mind thinks, "why would this not be true?"
I would equally come back the next day and tell you they are rubbish, "why?" you might ask, and I would reply, "Because my friend told me".
This example sounds a little extreme, which is probably because it is a bit, but the actuality is that it lies in personal fact. It's probably a good thing that I haven't had the chance to Vote or get roped into any political regimes or it might go something like "Oh you say your the best party? Your going to change Britain? Well I will jolly well come along and join this BNP of which you speak!" (See: Nazi's)
I think the reason behind me giving into influence is simply that I have always strove to be accepted. I always put on an innocent face when being confronted by people for the first time, I hate first impressions, their possibly the worst thing in the world for me. If I meet someone for the first time its not unusual for me to start threating over what this person is running through their mind. "He's weird, he's strange, he's boring, he talks to much, he talks to little, he has no interests, why should I like him? who actually is he? when will he go away?" when they could, quite possibly, be thinking the exact same thing, or have just thought I am 'nice guy', or perhaps they didn't really care about me. NB: This 'stranger' can be anyone, even someone I will only meet once in my life, yes I care that much
Now in contrast to this I myself am quite a judging person and it's probably that which got me into Psychology. I like to think, and heres my modesty in the matter, that I am good at 'getting' people. Put me in a room for a while with someone and I like to think I would come out knowing pretty much how they tick. My mother thinks she does this so it might be genetic (though Mothers often think they know things which they quite clearly don't. They have this sort of motherly method of analysing reality where they think it's impossible that their Son is open to drugs, has had sex before marriage, or has in fact got a mind of their own that has entirely different values in some respects). So far nobody has really surprised me that much. When sitting there and thinking "This person isn't very nice" it doesn't take long for them to prove that my thoughts are quite correct. You know the moments when people say "Well I never expected him to do a thing like that!" I am normally thinking "I knew he was going to do that right from the start". Perhaps I am not as gullible as I first thought... Who knows? This doesn't sound at all modest and I hate sounding big headed but... thats what I think. So I suppose it that sense we are all quite easily influenced. Milgram, Ashe, and Zimbardo would probably back me up on this. Them being intellectual psychology type fella's. Most people conform, few deviate. Simple.
I am usually the first in line to conform (though Churches have never roped me in). Sometimes I think "Cor! What fun! Fighting the system! Wish I could do that! Down with Capitalism!" But often I just shake my head thinking "I actually quite like Capitalism". I am sticking to that. Obviously things we can do better, we need better health care, education, and treatment of the lower classes but I don't think we need to go all Karl Marx about things. We need a bit of a compromise. Maybe Hedonism, I quite like that Idea of pleasure seeking. Though a more communal version. If someone finds pleasure in breaking someones face they should find kinship in someone who finds pleasure in having their face broke, rather then someone who isn't totally into the idea. Freud would have a feild day with Hedonism, giving into the Ego and all that jazz.
I have always been easily influenced. It's nothing I hide.
If you told me a band was great, revolutionary, and should be held in the utmost esteem I would probably believe you... without even knowing the bands name or hearing a song they had done. My mind thinks, "why would this not be true?"
I would equally come back the next day and tell you they are rubbish, "why?" you might ask, and I would reply, "Because my friend told me".
It may, however, take more then a brief statement to believe this bad were revolutionary.
This example sounds a little extreme, which is probably because it is a bit, but the actuality is that it lies in personal fact. It's probably a good thing that I haven't had the chance to Vote or get roped into any political regimes or it might go something like "Oh you say your the best party? Your going to change Britain? Well I will jolly well come along and join this BNP of which you speak!" (See: Nazi's)
Yeh!... Wait, What were our political ideologies again?
I think the reason behind me giving into influence is simply that I have always strove to be accepted. I always put on an innocent face when being confronted by people for the first time, I hate first impressions, their possibly the worst thing in the world for me. If I meet someone for the first time its not unusual for me to start threating over what this person is running through their mind. "He's weird, he's strange, he's boring, he talks to much, he talks to little, he has no interests, why should I like him? who actually is he? when will he go away?" when they could, quite possibly, be thinking the exact same thing, or have just thought I am 'nice guy', or perhaps they didn't really care about me. NB: This 'stranger' can be anyone, even someone I will only meet once in my life, yes I care that much
Not quite the Stranger I meant.
Now in contrast to this I myself am quite a judging person and it's probably that which got me into Psychology. I like to think, and heres my modesty in the matter, that I am good at 'getting' people. Put me in a room for a while with someone and I like to think I would come out knowing pretty much how they tick. My mother thinks she does this so it might be genetic (though Mothers often think they know things which they quite clearly don't. They have this sort of motherly method of analysing reality where they think it's impossible that their Son is open to drugs, has had sex before marriage, or has in fact got a mind of their own that has entirely different values in some respects). So far nobody has really surprised me that much. When sitting there and thinking "This person isn't very nice" it doesn't take long for them to prove that my thoughts are quite correct. You know the moments when people say "Well I never expected him to do a thing like that!" I am normally thinking "I knew he was going to do that right from the start". Perhaps I am not as gullible as I first thought... Who knows? This doesn't sound at all modest and I hate sounding big headed but... thats what I think. So I suppose it that sense we are all quite easily influenced. Milgram, Ashe, and Zimbardo would probably back me up on this. Them being intellectual psychology type fella's. Most people conform, few deviate. Simple.
I am usually the first in line to conform (though Churches have never roped me in). Sometimes I think "Cor! What fun! Fighting the system! Wish I could do that! Down with Capitalism!" But often I just shake my head thinking "I actually quite like Capitalism". I am sticking to that. Obviously things we can do better, we need better health care, education, and treatment of the lower classes but I don't think we need to go all Karl Marx about things. We need a bit of a compromise. Maybe Hedonism, I quite like that Idea of pleasure seeking. Though a more communal version. If someone finds pleasure in breaking someones face they should find kinship in someone who finds pleasure in having their face broke, rather then someone who isn't totally into the idea. Freud would have a feild day with Hedonism, giving into the Ego and all that jazz.
Karl Marx: Big fan of Capitalism, take it from me
What was I blogging about? Influence? Yeh... Trailed off into Comformity, which is a type of Influence. A social one. I really should stop going off tangent, but then again, its just that I am under the influence of blogging.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Sleeping it off
Today I have been thinking about Sleep Patterns. My sleep patterns are pretty hectic. They always have been. Ever since I was a wee nipper I used to try every excuse in the book to stay up downstairs watching TV and when failing that I would sit up in bed and make up stories with my stuffed animals. I suppose I always had a vivid imagination and the blood of a story teller. Thats probably also why I couldn't get to sleep.
The leading member of my motley group of thespians
At night time my mind buzzes and my imagination overflows (My imagination, not my motivation, its all well and good for thinking up plots but it never gets work done). In my head I will often think up narrative and think 'By jove, THAT sounds like a literary magnum opus' and then in the morning I will have completely forgotten it and go back to writing the most obscene of drivel. Anyway, were going off course here. I want to talk about sleep patterns.
A pattern I don't recommend
Personally I don't have a sleep pattern, I don't think I ever did. As soon as my parents put a TV in my bedroom, and I had access to headphones, 9:00 bedtimes became 2:00 in the morning. Not to mention this TV had a VHS player (what an ancient and distant technology that is now) and I remember watching "Ace Ventura" and "The Mask" till 3:00 or 4:00 when I had to be up at 8:00. Oh the shame of it!
The leading member of my motley group of thespiansAt night time my mind buzzes and my imagination overflows (My imagination, not my motivation, its all well and good for thinking up plots but it never gets work done). In my head I will often think up narrative and think 'By jove, THAT sounds like a literary magnum opus' and then in the morning I will have completely forgotten it and go back to writing the most obscene of drivel. Anyway, were going off course here. I want to talk about sleep patterns.
A pattern I don't recommendPersonally I don't have a sleep pattern, I don't think I ever did. As soon as my parents put a TV in my bedroom, and I had access to headphones, 9:00 bedtimes became 2:00 in the morning. Not to mention this TV had a VHS player (what an ancient and distant technology that is now) and I remember watching "Ace Ventura" and "The Mask" till 3:00 or 4:00 when I had to be up at 8:00. Oh the shame of it!
If only he knew what his movies were doing to my young and fragile bodyclock
Since University this lack of sleep pattern isn't so much recommended as enforced. Clubbing is practically backed by martial law, which doesn't bother me since I love it. Since coming back for Christmas I have been up till around 6:00-8:00 in the morning just reading. Either re-reading "Night Watch" by Terry Pratchett, my favorite author, or the wonderful "My Booky Wook" By Russell Brand. I recommend both.
A fantastic booky wook
Last night I pulled an All-Nighter and received absolutely no sleep. Its common practice with us Student-Esque chaps. At about 4:00 - 5:00, if your up at 8:00, you enter what I lovingly name the 'PONR', or Point of No Return. Once your there if you sleep you will over sleep, or I will, and so theres not much point going to bed. I had the day off today, so It didn't really matter what time I went to sleep, but I thought, "I may as well stay awake, look, the little birds outside encourage it!"
But around 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon I started feeling a little tired and decided to nap, which lasted about 2 hours since my father woke me up, thinking I had been asleep all day. Now at this point I was ready to die. I felt HORRIBLE. (You must realise I don't drink Coffee or have any real intake of Caffeine) and I woke up for tea looking like Death's own fashion and consultant.
I get what your going for here, but could we maybe try a bit of colour?
You may think this proves that I do have some kind of sleep pattern as it didn't like being awake all night... Well your wrong! After some sort of sustenance I was back sitting at this PC and watching videos on YouTube. And reading. And then watching Big Brother. And then Reading. and I was up till 1:00am again before I thought... "I really need to catch up on that ole sleep or else I may decline into self-induced insomnia". I can't see the doctor recommeding it somehow. I am reminded of the experiment that some psychology type people induced where a guy was awake for 11 days. He hallucinated thinking his shoelaces were spiders. (I can see it now. "Want Vivid Hallucinations? Don't want Salvia or LSD? Try sleep deprivation!")
I can't wait till I am in the future with a 9:00 - 5:00 job. I am going to find it so hard structuring my day. Who wakes up before 12:00, I mean really.....
A fantastic booky wookLast night I pulled an All-Nighter and received absolutely no sleep. Its common practice with us Student-Esque chaps. At about 4:00 - 5:00, if your up at 8:00, you enter what I lovingly name the 'PONR', or Point of No Return. Once your there if you sleep you will over sleep, or I will, and so theres not much point going to bed. I had the day off today, so It didn't really matter what time I went to sleep, but I thought, "I may as well stay awake, look, the little birds outside encourage it!"
OI, YOU, ITS MORNIN'!
But around 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon I started feeling a little tired and decided to nap, which lasted about 2 hours since my father woke me up, thinking I had been asleep all day. Now at this point I was ready to die. I felt HORRIBLE. (You must realise I don't drink Coffee or have any real intake of Caffeine) and I woke up for tea looking like Death's own fashion and consultant.
I get what your going for here, but could we maybe try a bit of colour?You may think this proves that I do have some kind of sleep pattern as it didn't like being awake all night... Well your wrong! After some sort of sustenance I was back sitting at this PC and watching videos on YouTube. And reading. And then watching Big Brother. And then Reading. and I was up till 1:00am again before I thought... "I really need to catch up on that ole sleep or else I may decline into self-induced insomnia". I can't see the doctor recommeding it somehow. I am reminded of the experiment that some psychology type people induced where a guy was awake for 11 days. He hallucinated thinking his shoelaces were spiders. (I can see it now. "Want Vivid Hallucinations? Don't want Salvia or LSD? Try sleep deprivation!")
I can't wait till I am in the future with a 9:00 - 5:00 job. I am going to find it so hard structuring my day. Who wakes up before 12:00, I mean really.....
Monday, January 7, 2008
Hair today....
Today I have been thinking about: Hair!
Thats right folks, Hair! Long Hair!
The offending article. Modeled by me.
Its a subject that I've held in a great deal of consideration recently since I recently went from extremely long hair which reached down my back to short hair! And personally it was a great experiance. Most people I know who cut their hair have looked better for it (Dan from before), thats not to say I hated my appearance with long hair, I did like it, but it took SO much hassle to keep right as many of your girls and other long haired fellows will appreciate.
Now this got me thinking to how hair can really change what people think of you. After shaving my full head of hair and the removal of my furred chin (see: Beard) I received many a compliment from many a gender who were of many an age. I was told it looked so much better, I looked my age, I looked much more 'acceptable'. Acceptable was the one that stuck out, in this society looks account for a lot, whether people want to admit it or not, so obviously you want to provide people with the right look that they can access you with, rather then refusing to make your acquaintance and walk off away. Before I looked 'Metal' which is what I was going for in my earlier years. I was into music that other people weren't, me and my friends, we liked it heavy so you could headbang, strum your air guitar, roar and shout! But this wasn't me anymore. I still liked the genre ofcourse but my music tastes, in my old age, had broadened significantly and I reincorporated practically every genre into my tastes. Call me greedy but I loved it all. I no longer wanted people to think I liked one Genre which is only a mere shade on the musical palette.
A bad photo of the side of my new doo. Performed with bed hair!
In one way it could be said I was 'conforming' to the standard of everyday people. Though conforming to 'can't be arsed' and 'need a change' were more my thing. In a certain way I was conforming, I wanted acceptance, I wanted to build new friendships and be liked by all, but in another I am an inside insurgent, I can catch people off guard with my musical selection and make them think 'oo-er' as I cross the controversial tunes of Heavy Metal and enter modern Pop. Also, how am I to define myself as 'different from the average person' If I am not first an average person, surely I shouldn't be set apart from them merely by looks, it should be my personality and character that breaks me free. Most people I know who like long hair on men say its because its this 'pulling away from the system', now I wasn't aware I was in the matrix and taken the wrong pill. "Thanks Morpheus, this will grow my hair big and strong now". I think it doesn't really matter what you look like as long as your personality remains intact to who you are, If you want long hair to fit in with your favorite bands, do it, I know I did. But I have found you reach a certain point where your happy to just be you.
That dashing young Scamp, Me.
Hair plays a vital role in what we think of people, it's part of fashion, and part of our confidence. I feel a lot more confident with shorter hair and personally I think I look loads better, which is all that matters right?
Thats right folks, Hair! Long Hair!
The offending article. Modeled by me.Its a subject that I've held in a great deal of consideration recently since I recently went from extremely long hair which reached down my back to short hair! And personally it was a great experiance. Most people I know who cut their hair have looked better for it (Dan from before), thats not to say I hated my appearance with long hair, I did like it, but it took SO much hassle to keep right as many of your girls and other long haired fellows will appreciate.
Now this got me thinking to how hair can really change what people think of you. After shaving my full head of hair and the removal of my furred chin (see: Beard) I received many a compliment from many a gender who were of many an age. I was told it looked so much better, I looked my age, I looked much more 'acceptable'. Acceptable was the one that stuck out, in this society looks account for a lot, whether people want to admit it or not, so obviously you want to provide people with the right look that they can access you with, rather then refusing to make your acquaintance and walk off away. Before I looked 'Metal' which is what I was going for in my earlier years. I was into music that other people weren't, me and my friends, we liked it heavy so you could headbang, strum your air guitar, roar and shout! But this wasn't me anymore. I still liked the genre ofcourse but my music tastes, in my old age, had broadened significantly and I reincorporated practically every genre into my tastes. Call me greedy but I loved it all. I no longer wanted people to think I liked one Genre which is only a mere shade on the musical palette.
A bad photo of the side of my new doo. Performed with bed hair!In one way it could be said I was 'conforming' to the standard of everyday people. Though conforming to 'can't be arsed' and 'need a change' were more my thing. In a certain way I was conforming, I wanted acceptance, I wanted to build new friendships and be liked by all, but in another I am an inside insurgent, I can catch people off guard with my musical selection and make them think 'oo-er' as I cross the controversial tunes of Heavy Metal and enter modern Pop. Also, how am I to define myself as 'different from the average person' If I am not first an average person, surely I shouldn't be set apart from them merely by looks, it should be my personality and character that breaks me free. Most people I know who like long hair on men say its because its this 'pulling away from the system', now I wasn't aware I was in the matrix and taken the wrong pill. "Thanks Morpheus, this will grow my hair big and strong now". I think it doesn't really matter what you look like as long as your personality remains intact to who you are, If you want long hair to fit in with your favorite bands, do it, I know I did. But I have found you reach a certain point where your happy to just be you.
That dashing young Scamp, Me.Hair plays a vital role in what we think of people, it's part of fashion, and part of our confidence. I feel a lot more confident with shorter hair and personally I think I look loads better, which is all that matters right?
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