Sleeping it off

Today I have been thinking about Sleep Patterns. My sleep patterns are pretty hectic. They always have been. Ever since I was a wee nipper I used to try every excuse in the book to stay up downstairs watching TV and when failing that I would sit up in bed and make up stories with my stuffed animals. I suppose I always had a vivid imagination and the blood of a story teller. Thats probably also why I couldn't get to sleep.

The leading member of my motley group of thespians

At night time my mind buzzes and my imagination overflows (My imagination, not my motivation, its all well and good for thinking up plots but it never gets work done). In my head I will often think up narrative and think 'By jove, THAT sounds like a literary magnum opus' and then in the morning I will have completely forgotten it and go back to writing the most obscene of drivel. Anyway, were going off course here. I want to talk about sleep patterns.

A pattern I don't recommend

Personally I don't have a sleep pattern, I don't think I ever did. As soon as my parents put a TV in my bedroom, and I had access to headphones, 9:00 bedtimes became 2:00 in the morning. Not to mention this TV had a VHS player (what an ancient and distant technology that is now) and I remember watching "Ace Ventura" and "The Mask" till 3:00 or 4:00 when I had to be up at 8:00. Oh the shame of it!

If only he knew what his movies were doing to my young and fragile bodyclock

Since University this lack of sleep pattern isn't so much recommended as enforced. Clubbing is practically backed by martial law, which doesn't bother me since I love it. Since coming back for Christmas I have been up till around 6:00-8:00 in the morning just reading. Either re-reading "Night Watch" by Terry Pratchett, my favorite author, or the wonderful "My Booky Wook" By Russell Brand. I recommend both.

A fantastic booky wook

Last night I pulled an All-Nighter and received absolutely no sleep. Its common practice with us Student-Esque chaps. At about 4:00 - 5:00, if your up at 8:00, you enter what I lovingly name the 'PONR', or Point of No Return. Once your there if you sleep you will over sleep, or I will, and so theres not much point going to bed. I had the day off today, so It didn't really matter what time I went to sleep, but I thought, "I may as well stay awake, look, the little birds outside encourage it!"

OI, YOU, ITS MORNIN'!

But around 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon I started feeling a little tired and decided to nap, which lasted about 2 hours since my father woke me up, thinking I had been asleep all day. Now at this point I was ready to die. I felt HORRIBLE. (You must realise I don't drink Coffee or have any real intake of Caffeine) and I woke up for tea looking like Death's own fashion and consultant.

I get what your going for here, but could we maybe try a bit of colour?

You may think this proves that I do have some kind of sleep pattern as it didn't like being awake all night... Well your wrong! After some sort of sustenance I was back sitting at this PC and watching videos on YouTube. And reading. And then watching Big Brother. And then Reading. and I was up till 1:00am again before I thought... "I really need to catch up on that ole sleep or else I may decline into self-induced insomnia". I can't see the doctor recommeding it somehow. I am reminded of the experiment that some psychology type people induced where a guy was awake for 11 days. He hallucinated thinking his shoelaces were spiders. (I can see it now. "Want Vivid Hallucinations? Don't want Salvia or LSD? Try sleep deprivation!")

I can't wait till I am in the future with a 9:00 - 5:00 job. I am going to find it so hard structuring my day. Who wakes up before 12:00, I mean really.....